Life Is Very Short and There’s No Time For Fussing And Fighting, My Friend

“Christ, you know it ain’t easy,
you know how hard it can be
The way things are going,
they’re gonna crucify me”

The Baboons drop another one late in the season, giving their fans plenty of reasons to start the annual Berkenbile riots. They’re still in the hunt, so the riots are, at the moment, just in the planning stages.

RACHEL WINS, 36-33

“I am he, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all together.”

The Minotaurs forced a late fumble that appeared to be initially recovered by Michael late in the fourth quarter. But after the pile of all twenty-two players (and four fans) was slowly untangled, the refs gave the ball to the Evil Entities, keeping their drive alive. They scored the game winning touchdown on the next play.

ETHAN WINS, 20-19

“Nothing’s gonna change my world”

The Miranda Martians just can’t correct course. They lose their fifth straight, this one to the Javelineers in OT.

JOSH WINS, 45-42

“Picture yourself on a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.”

As the lead started to get bigger and bigger, the Juggernauts tried to calm down the frustrated Sackbuts players by describing their acid trips.

JOEL WINS, 45-22

“If I could see you now,
I’d try to make you sad somehow.
But I can’t, so I’ll cry instead.”

The Micropolitans really wanted to player spoiler to the Bongos winning streak, but they couldn’t, so it’s tears instead.

BRIAN WINS, 25-24

“Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight.”

The Coin Tossers had a nice win last week, but that feeling faded fast. Steven gets a huge win at home.

STEVEN WINS, 46-6

“There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game
It’s easy.”

The Cannibals had some words of encouragement for another struggling NPL franchise as they cruise to a dominant victory at home.

CHRIS WINS, 45-6

“And when the brokenhearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be”

The Blue Tits were impressed by the effort of the Jellyfish, but at the end of the day, one of these teams is winning games and the other should let it be.

BETTE WINS, 36-21

“You got that something,
I think you’ll understand
When I feel that something,
I want to hold your hand”

Bran Dino, wide receiver for the Braggadocios, saw his game-tying touchdown taken off the board in the final seconds, thanks to an ill-timed Offensive Pass Interference penalty after Dino pulled on the hand of cornerback Davey Nana as he was attempting to break up the pass.

DAVENA WINS, 40-33

“It’s been a hard day’s night,
I should be sleeping like a log”

The LeScavengers were not pleased about having to fly 16 hours to Brussels for an international game with a team that has only a 13 hour flight. They were equally annoyed that the game was set to start just 45 minutes after their plane landed. An oversight by the NPL scheduling committee, to be sure.

AXELL WINS, 27-15

“Will you still need me,
will you still feed me,
when I’m sixty-four?”

The Adam Bombs runningback, Adam Ademma, already one of the oldest players in the league, tops the 200 yard mark again and wonders just how long he can play at an elite level.

ADAM WINS, 46-24

“Here comes the sun, it’s alright”

The Jaws-of-Life snap the Tichorrhines back to reality, ending their three game winning streak in a big way on the road. The Tichorrhines, however, are feeling relief that the season is coming to a close in the next few weeks.

JERRY WINS, 45-12

“I don’t care too much for money,
money can’t buy me love.”

The BB Cannons have the lowest payroll in the league, with many of the players on the roster holding second or third jobs. But they sure do know how to play on Sundays, showing that it’s not just about the money.

BRENT WINS, 47-23

“You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one”

The Rock Lobsters went hard today, causing fifteen injuries, three deaths, and over $300k in fines, all because they read an article prior to the game that they were still hopefuls for the playoffs. They let that dream fuel their destruction of Laci in this one.

RICKY WINS, 38-12

“I get by with a little help from my friends.”

The Cari Bous really wanted a win this week. And thankfully for them, the Androids were happy to give this one away. That’s what friends are for.

CARI WINS, 19-0

NPL Title Belt Match!

“Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.”

The Kelly Zeros saw that the NPL Title Belt would be in their reach, and even better, it would be there for the taking in PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIIME! They cruise to an easy win over the Reremice, lifting the weight of that heavy belt off their shoulders.

KELLY WINS, 56-14