Chris and Steve Spill Into Overtime in the GOTW!

NPL Title Belt Match!

The JeStErS rebounded in a big way, claiming the NPL Title Belt from the Josh Javelineers. Things were close until Jason pulled away in the 4th quarter, like a father that received an upsetting paternity test for an eight year old that looked far too Italian. JASON WINS, 47-30

Is there a better way for an undefeated team to be given their first loss? The Baboons looked about as coordinated as a baby horse learning to skateboard, yet their 3rd quarter touchdown and 2-pt conversion was enough to pump the breaks on the Reremice Revenge Tour. BERKENBILE WINS, 8-0

The Lychnobites and the Minotaurs took this one into overtime, following a back and forth regulation that saw a combined 752 yards of offense. It was Lauren that, like a blind mouse using sonar to slowly get by the house cat, eventually squeaked by. LAUREN WINS, 31-30

The Vapulaters rebound on a fine offensive performance from QB Vinny Vinceverde, who threw for 441 yards and 5 touchdowns. The LeScavengers had more trouble defending the air attack than Nagasaki in ’45. VINCE WINS, 35-21

The Jaws-of-Life go on the road and thoroughly stomp the home Rock Lobsters. LB Ricky Mean records 21 tackles in the losing effort, and only four of those were referees trying to spot the ball after a play. JERRY WINS, 45-21

The Cari ‘Bous may be playing for first pick, or they may just actually be bad. While this big loss also leaves them at 0-4, like the Minotaurs, they are far and away the worst offense in the league at just 350 yards of offense through four weeks of play. 1st Pick, here they come! BRENT WINS, 28-6

The A-Bombs were well off target in this one. Brandon didn’t exactly dominate in this one, however. They just happened to suck less in this match-up. BRANDON WINS, 10-0

The Juggernauts were fortunate enough to suit up All-Pro kicker Joel Michael Jowell-Jollsberg in this one. Then, naturally, their offense struggled so bad they never reached field goal range. Like a white collegiate athlete that will eventually get a slap on the wrist, Kevin really took advantage here. KEVIN WINS, 35-0

The Jellyfish sting the Ballerinas in over time. The win for Jennifer and the loss for DaVena match nicely with the rest of the Oracle Division, where no team has a losing record after four weeks. Nicely done! JENNIFER WINS, 47-30

Travis hands the Androids their first loss of the season in such a manner that you would think some sort of safe word was in play. It was an embarrassing loss for the 3-0 Androids, but there’s no reason to reboot the season just yet. TRAVIS WINS, 26-0

Corey knocked in two field goals in the first quarter to pull away 6-0 and… just let me look at my notes here… HOLY CRAP WHAT A BEAT DOWN! I mean… uh… Kelly put on a nice offensive show from that point on to take the W. KELLY WINS, 37-6

The defending champion Ethan Evil Entities used the overtime period to take one from division rival Rachel. Ethan Ebow is once again greeted with a chorus of boos, but instead of a protest, this is more about just how unlikeable he is. ETHAN WINS, 28-21

Lightbulbs had to be replaced after the scoreboard struggled to keep up with this high-scoring affair. Both teams combined for a perfect 3-for-3 in field goals, with Miranda going a perfect 0-for-0. Much to everyone’s relief, the game eventually ended. LACI WINS, 9-0

It was a Battle of the Bad in this ugly game. The Game of the Week went into overtime where a safety to start the period was topped by a field goal to end the period. Said Sausages punter Greg “The Leg” Bratwurst, “I’m fucking tired!” CHRIS WINS, 18-17