Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

The JeStErS were caught in a landslide, no escape from the reality that the Baboons were out for blood. BERKENBILE WINS, 37-0

The Javelineers would open their eyes, look up to the skies and see the Reremice’s score climbing and climbing throughout this contest. RYAN WINS, 29-6

The Minotaurs are no poor boys, they need no sympathy – but Lauren was happy to give this one away in overtime on a horrendous fake field goal attempt. MICHAEL WINS, 13-12

Wins are apparently easy come, easy go for the Sausages, scores are a little high, a little low. This was one of those ‘little low’ ones. DAVENA WINS, 16-11

Any time the whistle blows doesn’t really matter to the Evil Entities defense, who combined for a league record 38 late hit penalties in the win on the road. ETHAN WINS, 26-5

The LeScavengers just killed a man. Put a gun against his head,
Pulled the trigger, now he’s dead. The Rock Lobsters defensive coordinator will certainly be executed in the town square, as is custom for the Rock Lobsters, after blowing the 21-0 lead with 8 minutes left in the game. LeSCOOT WINS, 36-21

Adam’s win streak had just begun, but now they’ve gone and thrown it all away. JERRY WINS, 35-0

Brandon, ooh-oo-oh-ooh, didn’t mean to make Brent cry with their road victory. BRANDON WINS, 26-13

NPL Title Belt Match!

If the Cannibals aren’t back-to-back-to-back winners by this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on as if their season doesn’t matter. Looks like they are. CHRIS WINS, 26-13

Too late, Kevin, Jennifer’s time has come. They bounce back from back to back losses with the shutout here. JENNIFER WINS, 18-0

Joel Michael Jowell-Jollsberg’s kicking sends shivers down my spine, but I bet his body’s aching all the time, being a full time kicker, stuntman, bodyguard, and Broadway understudy. JOEL WINS, 44-21

Goodbye, everybody, the Wrecking Ball coaches have got to go. They’ve gotta leave us all behind and face the truth that their once-revolutionary offense has been figured out by NPL defenses. KELLY WINS, 29-13

The Labeorphiles don’t wanna die, but they sometimes wish they’d never been born at all after games like this. MIRANDA WINS, 44-12

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for Cari in PRIIIIIME TIME! Did the Bous think they could stone Vince and spit in their eyes? Did they think they can say they love their fans but leave them to cry? Oh, baby! Can’t do that to them, baby! Vince just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta there with the W. VINCE WINS, 20-6