Bettle Blue Tits Break Even

The Josh Javelineers jackhammered the Braggadocios, jumping to a justifiably joyous lead, as though they were playing jaundiced juveniles. JOSH WINS, 29-13

Berkenbile beat, battered, bruised, and broke down the LeScavengers, benefitting from a buttonhook heavy passing game that bullied these buggers on this bloodthirsty battleground. BERKENBILE WINS, 36-12

The belligerent, bodybuilding bastards that make up the bulk of the Bette Blue Tits big-time defense backed up their boisterous brags, with brilliant backbone breakers. BETTE WINS, 36-23

One must respect Ryan Reremice’s recent reversal to run-first, righting the routine that many recognized as reeling. RYAN WINS, 44-31

The BB Cannons were brilliantly bamboozled, advised to be bundled for the blistering cold of a brutal winter in Arizona, but it was all bullocks, and the bullshit betrayed the now blushing JeStErS. BRENT WINS, 38-6

NPL Title Belt Match!

The Jaws-of-Life went for the jugular, jettisoning Vince with joystick jukes, jostling some jimmies, justifiably. JERRY WINS, 35-4

Ricky razed Lauren, wrecking runs repeatedly, recklessly roughing up Lychnobites left and right. RICKY WINS, 47-13

The Micropolitans and Bous were in a mundane meeting, before both muscled their way to a montage of memorable moves in a high scoring OT. MATT WINS, 35-30

It took another period, but Axell was able to assault the amateurish attempt offered by the Zeros, and while the anxiety amplified, we must applaud this admirably athletic appearance from the Abactors. AXELL WINS, 32-27

It was an avalanche of awesome from the Androids offense, applying asymmetric aggression unapologetically, leavin’ Steven with a halftime case of agoraphobia. ANDREW WINS, 26-4

The Jellyfish jackknifed the Martians, with some juicy jujutsu, leaving the Martians running like a junkyard jalopy. JENNIFER WINS, 29-14

The knight-like Killcows kneecapped these Rachel knuckleheads in this kerfuffle. KEVIN WINS, 36-4

The Juggernauts wish to avoid judgments of the arrest of Joel Michael Jowell-Jollsberg’s following his joyriding in just his jockstrap in June, now that the case is in front of a judge. JOEL WINS, 9-0

The Labeorphiles left little on the field, leaving the laughingstock label long behind them, legitimizing their landing on the leaderboards. LACI WINS, 36-21

The battle of Travis and Brian was punctuated by the barbaric bullying of the Tichorrhines’ backfield, who barely broke the thirty yard mark. BRIAN WINS, 36-24

DaVena demolished these disgraceful devils in PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIIME, degrading the deprived, yet ever defiant douchebags of Ethan. DAVENA WINS, 36-31