The worst teams of the playoffs play the second worst teams of the playoffs! Who will be worst? Will it be the 1st Worst or the 2nd Worst of each game? Who will be one-and-done? Who will be one-and-won-then-done next weekend?
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International House of Pancakes Field
Jerrysville, FL
Saturday, 11:00 AM kickoff
Weather: Warm, Clear
The Ryan Reremice drew the short straw in the standings, having to play visitor to the Jaws-of-Life instead of hosting the Lauren Lychnobites. The Reremice played an all around solid game against Jerry, amassing 411 yards of offense, thanks to a big game in the air and on the ground by QB Fran Ryanton.
But, J-o-L RB, Jermichael Jerry, was the big story here, setting a franchise record with 287 yards rushing with three scores. The ground game was especially crucial in keeping the ball out of the hot hand of Ryanton. JERRY WINS, 35-24
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Javelineer Field and Home Improvement Center
Joshville, WA
Saturday, 2:00 PM kickoff
Weather: Snow
JDIII opened the scoring on the first play of the game, with a dart 19 yards down field to WR J.J. Joshleburg, who then outraced the Lychnobites defense the remaining 56 yards to the endzone. Only 16 seconds into the game, and the Javelineers had the lead they would never relinquish.
QB Larry Laurenso was unable to get the offense going for the Lychnobites – an offense that failed to reach the endzone against a less-than-spectacular Javelineers defense. Lauren settled for four field goals in the losing effort. JOSH WINS, 27-12
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Ninja Mega Kitchen System Dome
Brentland, MI
Sunday, 11:00 AM kickoff
Weather: Air Conditioned
QB Steven Stevenson left the game late in the 3rd quarter, relinquishing the QB duties to undrafted free agent Stephon Steevelmen. Steevelmen was ineffective against the Killcows bullying blitz in the 4th quarter, failing to a single point on the board, and turning the ball over thrice as well.
Meanwhile, larger-than-life QB Kev Kthulu dissected the Sausages defense in the second half, going 13-for-15 with 3 touchdowns and added another on the ground. The Killcows dethrone the reigning Seer Cup champions in the big win, removing any chance of a repeat. KEVIN WINS, 46-31
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Urine Luck – Portable Toilets Field
Brentland, MI
Sunday, 2:00 PM kickoff
Weather: Cold, Rain
The Wrecking Balls don’t worry about being the underdog, visiting team. They absolutely destroy the Travis Tichorrhines in the Wild Card victory to move onto the Divisional playoffs. Travis struggled to get much offense going, instead relying on a kick return and a punt return touchdown by WR Eli T. Ravis to collect their only points of the afternoon.
RB Rack Rickles was the big winner for the Wrecking Balls, collecting 147 yards on the ground and another 116 yards in the air, scoring three touchdowns in the win. RACHEL WINS, 37-14
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