Thirteen Weeks Down, One to Go!

The JeStErS pull the road upset, toppling the Reremice in a shutout victory. Heading into Week 14, the JeStErS are on the outside looking in, with a slim chance at a Wild Card. For Ryan, it’s not a matter of “if” they’ll make the playoffs, but in what position. JASON WINS, 17-0

Lauren plays spoiler for the Baboons, keeping the division title still up in the air. Lauren, like Jason, has a very slim chance of making the postseason, and like Ryan, Berkenbile is a lock. LAUREN WINS, 29-6

The Javelineers get a crucial win on the road to secure another trip to the postseason, besting the Vapulaters who can only play spoiler at this point, with nearly every other team in the division, however unlikely, still technically alive in the playoff hunt. JOSH WINS, 29-14

The Jellyfish of Emily drop this one, but are still alive (on life support) for the postseason. They need a win and a bunch of teams to lose. But… crazier things have happened. The Jaws-of-Life, however, signed, sealed, and delivered a post season for their fans with the win. JERRY WINS, 18-5

Ricky is back in the cellar, thanks to a Brent win and this home loss to the Braggadocios. Brandon extends their win streak to 7 games and is looking like the team to beat in the Soothsayer Conference playoff bracket. BRANDON WINS, 27-13

Brent really needed a win, after dropping six straight following their 3-3 start on the year. The win pulls them (momentarily?) out of the gutter at the expense of the Adam Bombs who have a very slim chance at staying alive. BRENT WINS, 19-0

The Bous get a huge win here over LeScoot, keeping the dream alive. Now they just need LeScoot to lose again, paired with a win of their own, and a handful of other things to happen, to get to a postseason that looked like a lock after Week 8. CARI WINS, 19-5

Over in the Clairvoyant Conference there’s a lot more wiggle room, with only two of the six playoff spots spoken for. The Cutthroats get a clutch win over the visiting Sausages here to keep their hopes alive, despite currently sitting at 5th in the division. COREY WINS, 29-12

The Ballerinas win here puts Kevin in a tough spot as far as claiming the Oracle Division title – rather than sitting in a tie for first, they’re one game back with one game to go and a loss in Week 14 could be trouble. DaVena needs another W and some help to get to the postseason. DAVENA WINS, 19-6

The Cannibals started the year 1-3, but have won 8 of their last 9 games to give them one of the top records in the NPL. They are one of the two locks for the postseason – the other handed Chris their one loss in those last 9 games. CHRIS WINS, 27-15

Rachel gets the big win here on the road, eliminating the Evil Entities from postseason consideration. At 6-7, Rachel needs a win and a few other things to fall into place in Week 14 to stay alive. RACHEL WINS, 36-14

The Zeros have won two straight – this one at the expense of Laci’s third straight loss – to move into a decent position for a Wild Card spot. Laci falling here dashes their hope for the post season, but at least there’s binge drinking! KELLY WINS, 35-22

NPL Title Belt Match!

Miranda’s win here was a big one. By defeating Travis, for the second time this season, the Martians not only defended their Title Belt, but have also locked up their first Division Champion banner after years of being a Wild Card. Travis remains a near-lock for the post-season, but the division title is now officially a no-go. MIRANDA WINS, 20-0

Michael tackles Andrew in PRIIIIIME TIIIIIME to keep their hopes alive. The chances are more slim than a runway model caught in a hydraulic press, but unlike that model, they’re technically still alive. On the other hand, following the loss, Andrew will be facing Laci next week in the Battle for Last Place. MICHAEL WINS, 58-39