Going to the write-up hungry? Scrolling for jokes? The NPL was on the brink of collapse. I was the one who stopped that. You know what’s happened since then? The teams have known nothing but picks and badges. It’s a paradise.
It’s the NPL Write-Up, Thanos style!
“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.” The BB Cannons and Minotaurs sure had a back and forth battle in this one. BRENT WINS, 58-55
“I finally rest, and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe.” The Rock Lobsters are probably a bit too proud of this win, given that the Reremice were locked out of their own stadium and fans suited up in their place. RICKY WINS, 36-0
“You’re strong. But I could snap my fingers and you’d all cease to exist.” Josh Von Joshershire correcting course for the Javelineers with a win over Cari, snagging the Title Belt in the process. JOSH WINS, 38-0
“You’re not the only one cursed with knowledge.” Bette was impressed by the Micropolitans effort, but they’re not the only team that religiously studies film. BETTE WINS, 44-31
“I know what it’s like to lose. To feel so desperately that you’re right, yet to fail nonetheless.” The Braggadocios respected the effort of the visiting Sackbuts, but still take the W in OT. BRANDON WINS, 52-45
“Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now it’s here.” The LeScavengers remind the Coin Tossers that they are not supposed to win. LeSCOOT WINS, 44-27
“Perhaps I treated you too harshly.” The Adam Bombs were expecting to cruise to an easy win here, but the Vapulaters win handily. VINCE WINS, 36-14
“As long as there are those that remember what was, there will always be those that are unable to accept what can be. They will resist.” The Cannibals didn’t get the memo that they were 0-4 coming in and shouldn’t win this one, but the Cannibals channel their good times for the big road win. CHRIS WINS, 36-15
“Fun isn’t something one considers when balancing the universe. But this… does put a smile on my face.” Steve gets the F-U win over those pesky Evil Entities. STEVEN WINS, 46-33
“You should have gone for the head.” Kelly had some fight in them, but the Bongos prevailed in the end after all. BRIAN WINS, 45-32
“The hardest choices require the strongest wills.” The Martians try to justify pulling the starters as punishment for taking over an Amtrak and turning it into “The Party Train” over the weekend. JOEL WINS, 37-0
“I’m a survivor.” Jennifer sneaks away from a heated contest against the Tichorrhines on the road. JENNIFER WINS, 46-33
“I would reconsider your current course!” The Ballerinas step in and correct a Cutthroats winning streak before it gets too out of control. DAVENA WINS, 38-24
“I thought that by eliminating half of life, the other half would thrive. But you have shown me that’s impossible.” Laci was not expecting this much resistance from the Axell Abactors. AXELL WINS, 36-0
“I am… inevitable.” The dreaded compiling errors that have plagued the Androids since their inception inevitably showed. And as a result, the Androids didn’t show. KEVIN WINS, 28-0
“Reality is often disappointing.” The Baboons like to fancy themselves a powerhouse of the NPL, but the Jaws-of-Life brought a dose of reality on PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIME for the decisive win. JERRY WINS, 47-22
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