The Bous Embarrass the Rock Lobsters!

The Reremice are getting hot at the right time, but it may prove too little, too late. Still, they’re on fire on offense and easily topple the Minotaurs to avoid the season sweep at the hands of their division rivals while extending their unbeaten streak to three games.

RYAN WINS, 45-21

Vince has escaped the icy grasp of their seven game losing streak, and appear to have turned things around on offense. That, or their late season opponents were expecting that other Vapulaters squad. They drop their nuts into Matt’s rocky road, giving their division rivals their third loss in the last four.

VINCE WINS, 35-24

The Sackbuts almost stunned the NPL wins leader here, taking this affair into overtime. It was at that moment that Erik remembered how to play ball. They erupted for 24 unanswered points in the bonus period, but sent Samuel home with a nice edible arrangement for making the trip.

ERIK WINS, 57-34

This one counts! A huge match up, that probably should have been the Game of the Week if our schedulers weren’t high on toad licks, and may make the difference in the Psychic Division in 2024. Living up to the hype, this one spills into overtime where the Jaws-of-Life win it on a late field goal.

JERRY WINS, 41-38

The Rock Lobsters woes of years past gave the name for the annual Golden Rock Lobster award, traditionally given to the team that loses to the worst team in the league in a season. They may have just won it here. Not only did Ricky lose to the now 2-10 Bous, but they are BOTH of those Cari wins, and this one ends a 10 game losing streak!

CARI WINS, 36-21

Solid performances across the board for the Foreteller Division here in week 12. The Blue Tits get the win in this back and forth contest, taking four of their last five, but their rough first half of the season is likely going to be too much to overcome.

BETTE WINS, 45-31

The Adam Bombs’ four game losing streak in the middle of the season had many critics thinking they were done. But they’ve bounced back, big time, winning their third straight. This big win over Brandon proved crucial, locking the two squads in a tie atop the Foreteller Division standings with little time to spare!

ADAM WINS, 44-31

The Zeros have been a thorn in the side of the Evil Entities this season. They took the home squad to their only overtime game of the year and then got revenge for that narrow loss by bringing the stank here. They crush Ethan and are right in the hunt for the division title.

KELLY WINS, 47-21

The Wrecking Balls take full advantage of the Ethan loss earlier today, and slam through the Martians to the tune of five offensive touchdowns. The timely win puts Rachel in a tie with Ethan at the top (and Miranda alone at the bottom) of the Augur Division with two games remaining!

RACHEL WINS, 36-5

The Androids fight off the blade of the Cutthroats for four quarters, but falter in OT for their fifth straight loss, really reinforcing the Seer Cup Hangover theory as they slip to 3-9. The win evens up the Cutthroats at 6-6, but that is good enough to top this struggling Auspex Division!

COREY WINS, 47-38

After starting the year 5-3, things looked pretty good for the Tichorrhines. Then came the losing streak. This blowout road loss to the Baboons marks their fourth straight and may have put their playoff hopes officially on life support.

BERKENBILE WINS, 44-12

Joel Michael Jowell-Jollsberg really wanted this one. The NPL G.O.A.T. kicker (and also a goat kicker, as seen in the viral clip of him at his 23 year old son’s birthday petting zoo) had a placed a substantial bet on winning the division this year, and they needed this one. Instead, the Cannibals extend their late division lead in the two score road win!

CHRIS WINS, 47-33

The Bongos get a clutch win in this Sausage Party, improving to 6-6, right smack in the thick of things in the Clairvoyant Conference Wild Card hunt. The third consecutive loss for Steven Sausages all but cooks their 2024 season, but they did get that new stadium with the two thousand screen “disco ball” scoreboard.

BRIAN WINS, 46-32

The now 3-9 Jellyfish have consistently made each contest entertaining for the fans. They match the Killcows blow for blow for three quarters here, before a series of unfortunate banana peel related fumbles turned the tides in Kevin’s favor.

KEVIN WINS, 35-21

Y’know, removing some or all of that seven game skid would really change the outlook on Axell’s season. It would also leave them with too few games played. They demolish the Ballerinas to snag their third straight, but everyone stopped paying attention once hopelessness took over around Week 8.

NPL Title Belt Match!

The Javs are without question the hottest offense in the NPL, so that definitely had fans and critics alike thinking this PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIIME matchup had “trap game” written all over it. Laci didn’t get that memo though, and they were thoroughly trounced by the NPL Title Belt holders here. Joshtin Stubbert and the Javelineers offense make it five straight wins and seven straight games with 40+ points in their record setting 2024 season.

JOSH WINS, 44-14