Rachel Makes Moves to Secure the Augur Division Banner!

The Minotaurs bounce back from a Week 12 loss to the Reremice, knocking off one of the top teams of the Clairvoyant Conference to keep in the hunt for the Prophet Division banner. All they need is a Javs loss.

MICHAEL WINS, 53-33

NPL Title Belt Match!

The Javelineers needed two things in this match-up: a win to secure the division banner and more polish for that NPL Title Belt. The Sausages, like so many Javs opponents this year, played up to their opponent, but their defense had no answers for Joshtin Stubbert and the high-powered Javelineers offense.

JOSH WINS, 56-42

The Reremice are doing everything they can to hang on in the Wild Card hunt in the Soothsayer Conference. They visit the Juggernauts here, and the playoff hype took over the visitors locker room. They play to perfection on offense and take home the three score win.

RYAN WINS, 62-42

The Baboons might be out of the hunt, but they’ve been playing solid ball the last two weeks. This win over Brian moves them to 3-0 over the Soothsayer Conference, a fact they’ve recognized as they’ve submitted a realignment proposal to join that conference full time.

BERKENBILE WINS, 47-32

The Vapulaters snag their second straight with a victory over Kevin in this high scoring overtime clash. Vince gets the narrow victory in the bonus period, but that doesn’t hurt Kevin’s playoff chances, as they’ve already begun planning for their banner raising ceremony.

VINCE WINS, 73-68

The hot streak continues for the Abactors, who have corrected course from that ugly seven game losing streak to win their fourth straight late in the season. The Sackbuts, on the other hand, drop their fourth in a row, far removed from the 5-4 record that had them in a good spot for the post season.

AXELL WINS, 45-30

The Micropolitans stay alive with a big win on the road over the Jellyfish. They’re hanging on in the bloodbath that is the Soothsayer Wild Card Hunt. Jennifer, however, have real issues to address on defense and drop their fourth in their last five.

MATT WINS, 55-30

The Eruption have had a couple duds in the past few weeks, but they’ve rebounded nicely from each to continue the winning ways. The blowout win here puts them at a league-best 11 wins as they put the car in cruise control and take their eyes off the road while believing that cruise control is actually ‘self drive’ – a common mistake these days.

ERIK WINS, 45-14

The Blue Tits needed this one. They go on the road and face the defending champ Andrew Androids, who got frosty cold on their five game losing streak. But, the Droids are not water-cooled, so they avoided the freeze and upset the playoff hopefuls with a big home win.

ANDREW WINS, 46-24

The Brandon road win over Laci in this one was timely. Locked in a tie with the Adam Bombs atop the Foreteller Division, every snap counts. The Labeorphiles drop this one, their third straight, to officially kill their playoff hopes.

BRANDON WINS, 35-14

The LeScavengers’ offense is the best in franchise history, but their win-loss record does not reflect that. Once again, they drop a metric fuckton of points on the competition, only for said competition to get the win anyway due to the LeScavengers porous defense. The Cutthroats claim the Auspex Division with this overtime victory!

COREY WINS, 78-67

The four-game losing streak is officially reverse for the Adam Bombs. They’re now winners of four straight, and have a death grip on the playoff hopes and the Foreteller Division banner possibilities. One week to settle this one. They crush the Tichorrhines here, bringing the home team’s losing streak to five.

ADAM WINS, 37-0

Brent and Kelly are two sides of the NPL coin. They’re neck and neck in offensive production, fighting for a possible division title or wild card, and have multiple players on the IR list with chicken pox. They take this one into overtime, where they decide to pile on a bunch of points for the fans that stuck around instead of trying to beat traffic.

BRENT WINS, 93-72

Rachel likely didn’t need any favors. The home team were winners of five straight heading into this one. But the Rock Lobsters bus never made it to the stadium and all efforts to contact the team have gone unanswered. But we’re not worried. They’ll turn up.

RACHEL WINS, 54-0

Hot of their second win of the season, the Bous looked to the Martians as a chance to build on a fine performance and get some momentum going into the off-season. That didn’t last long. It wasn’t the highest scoring affair, but it was a game of sorts.

MIRANDA WINS, 17-5

The Jaws-of-Life are one game up over the Brent BB Cannons in the Psychic Division. The Ethan Evil Entities are locked at the top of the Augur with the Rachel Wrecking Balls. So naturally, when these two meet in Priiiiiiime Tiiiiiiime it carried an additional burden of “don’t fuck it up!”

And that’s exactly what the Ethan Evil Entities did when down 46-40 with 1:02 remaining in the game. The pick six sealed it for Jerry in this one, keeping the J-o-L one game over Brent. Ethan’s loss knocks the Entities off of the Augur Division saddle, but there’s one contest left to fix that, cowboys! (And cowgirls!)