The Adam Bombs blow up for a perfect week!

The overtime loss here for Brent means the BB Cannons only path to the postseason is by claiming another Psychic Division championship banner. But, a loss and a Cari win means Brent’s season is over!

Josh is victorious in this overtime contest, but gains no ground on the Prophet Division, as every team in the division took home a W. The final week of the season will determine how the Prophet Division plays out, but it’s anything but a lock.

JOSH WINS, 38-33

The Minotaurs get the clutch win over Ricky here and keep dreams afloat for a return appearance in the NPL Playoffs after a year away. But, a loss next week means they’re out of the hunt!

Ricky takes the L here, their 9th loss on the season, so they’re on the outside looking in. But everyone loves the team that plays spoiler, so there’s still some quality football to be had!

MICHAEL WINS, 36-6

Berkenbile edges out Cari in this one, adding a touchdown as time expired, knowing that the points differential might come into play for this hotly contested Prophet Division. Berkenbile holds the tiebreaker, for now, but another week could still turn this division upside down.

Cari needed this one, badly, as did the rest of Berkenbile’s rivals in the Prophet Division. The second consecutive loss for the Bous means they’ll be rooting for Corey next week when they visit Brent. The Bous will need to end the season on a high note for any shot at the division banner!

BERKENBILE WINS, 37-22

The Sackbuts put up a good show here, but what can you do when the other team plays to perfection? The loss, paired with an Erik win, puts Samuel in a pickle with one week to go. A win means they’re in, but a loss will complicate things.

The Adam Bombs etch their name in history this week against the Sackbuts. They played to perfection, not a wasted down on either side of the ball. The win also locks up the Foreteller Division! Adam claims back-to-back division championship banners! Can the Bombs successfully defend that Seer Cup?

ADAM WINS, 65-30

An untimely losing streak doomed the Vapulaters playoff plans, with this third consecutive loss taking them to 4-9 on the year. Flip just those three outcomes and Vince fans are a happier bunch!

Brandon got the win they needed at home over Vince, but the Adam Bombs victory means the Braggadocios’ hopes are dashed. They’ll be watching the playoffs at home this winter, but they did get a nice parting gift with this big win and they’ve still got a shot at the Foreteller Division’s scoring title for 2025, so that’s something.

BRANDON WINS, 35-14

The LeScavengers have played quality weeks in five of the last six weeks, but they only have two wins in that span to show for it. They’re tops in the division in offense, but this loss keeps them shivering, cold and alone in the Foreteller Division cellar going into the final week.

Erik gets the clutch OT win here to keep their playoff hopes alive. The Mystic Division is already locked up by the 12-1 Micropolitans, so the only pathway to glory is one of those Wild Cards. But, a win means they’re in, so they just need to add another W to their 2025 collection.

ERIK WINS, 42-37

NPL Title Belt Match!

Bette needed a win here to stay alive, but when you challenge for the NPL Title Belt, you need to bring a ladder, a baseball bat, or a chair. The loss eliminates the Blue Tits from playoff contention, but there’s a chance to play spoiler by spreading the “not gonna make the playoffs” misery by knocking down Jennifer next week.

Matt could have rested their starters. They could have tried some interesting new things on offense and defense to shake things up. They could have kept beer prices reasonable for home games. They chose to do none of those things, and stomp the Blue Tits to extend their winning streak to 10 games!

MATT WINS, 45-22

With the struggling Clairvoyant Conference potentially ending two divisions in a 7-7 tie, there was a real shot that the Cannibals could claim a Wild Card spot with a win on the road over Rachel. But they did not win on the road over Rachel. They lost on the road under Rachel. Tough break for the fourth best offense in the conference!

Rachel already punched their ticket to the postseason, but thanks to a Kelly loss to Joel, Rachel’s win here snags the Wrecking Balls their second consecutive Augur Division championship! Now they get to try to play spoiler to the Josh Javelineers in Priiiiiiime Tiiiiiiime in the final week of the regular season. Or they could take the week off. That’d be cool.

RACHEL WINS, 35-24

The Juggernauts needed every minute of this one to best the home team Kelly Zeros. But the timely win, their fourth straight, guarantees JMJJ and the Juggernauts a shot at the Seer Cup in the coming weeks, and they’ve still got a real shot at the division title!

Kelly let this one slip away in the bonus period, but they’re very much alive in the Clairvoyant Conference Wild Card hunt. They can punch their ticket with a win next week against the Ryan Reremice!

JOEL WINS, 63-46

The Evil Entities wanted this one badly, but couldn’t get into field goal range before time ran out in the bonus period. Brian pisses in Ethan’s oatmeal, knocking the Evil Entities out of the playoffs with this one.

Brian locked up a playoff spot with the victory, but the Juggernauts are red hot and breathing down their necks. The last week of the season will determine if Brian is a division winner or a monumentally more pathetic Wild Card.

BRIAN WINS, 38-35

The 6-6 Sausages may have thought they were walking into the stadium for an easy win on Sunday, but they 1-11 Martians refused to go quietly into the night. Miranda matches score for score in this one, and pulled ahead 37-35 with only 26 seconds left in the game.

But, the Sausages rallied, covering 53 yards in three plays to give their kicker the game winner. Like my pants on Thanksgiving, the uprights were split, much to the delight and horror of onlookers. Steven stays alive, barely, with this one, but they’re likely going to need a win next week to keep the good times rolling.

STEVEN WINS, 38-37

Every game counts now for the Cutthroats, who escape the Killcows here in overtime. They gain no ground on Laci, who also won this weekend, so they’ll control their fate next week against the Brent BB Cannons. Both teams are desperate for a win in the final week, so it should be a good one!

Kevin went from Fun Time to Crunch Time by failing to secure the W here. Their rivals, Axell, claimed their fourth straight victory, so for Kevin, it’s coming down to the wire. A win guarantees nothing, but it’s definitely necessary for both the Sage Division title and a potential Wild Card. A loss next week against Adam could doom them.

COREY WINS, 39-34

The Labeorphiles get the big road win here, their second straight victory, to keep themselves hot on the heels of the Corey Cutthroats for the Auspex Division title. Their fate is in their hands, and closing out the season with a winning streak would be a big boost!

DaVena timed this losing streak very poorly. Their third straight loss knocks them out of playoff contention, so they’ll be cheering on anyone that faces their Sage Division rivals in the coming weeks. They played a great game here, but Laci was too much to handle.

LACI WINS, 46-31

The Abactors knew the Tichorrhines were not going to roll over and let them simply take the win, so they came to fight. They take this one in overtime, by a butt hair, and win their fourth straight. Their playoff hopes, whether it’s a Wild Card or the Sage Division title, depend on next week’s outcome, but the Abactors are in a good spot!

Travis has had a rough go in the second half of the season, winning two of their last six. They put up a hell of a fight here at home, but let this one slip away in overtime. They won’t be moving on to the postseason, but there’s still one game left to rack up some Unnecessary Roughness penalty yardage.

AXELL WINS, 56-55

The Jellyfish nearly pull off a perfect week in their big win over the Androids on the road. They’re just one game back, with one game left, but they’ll need to do their part and win next week or they’re doomed.

Andrew’s season crashed and burned here in the past three weeks, their playoff chances plummeting with each final whistle. They’re not going to be involved in postseason play this time around, but the time off should give them opportunity for some upgrades.

JENNIFER WINS, 56-32

The Jaws-of-Life visit the Ryan Reremice for PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIME and both teams are desperate for a win! The Reremice get the clutch OT win with a last-second touchdown to take the three point win, but their buttholes were puckered, make no mistake.

The Jaws-of-Life get the L, but they have an opportunity to do something hilarious and win the division with a 6-8 record, should things go their way. It’s a slim shot, but still technically possible!

The Reremice, however, get no favors from the rest of the Psychic Division, who all drop their games to Ryan’s rivals in the Prophet Division. Ryan, and the rest of the division, are still alive with one week to go, but Ryan will need some help from the football gods in the last week of the season!

RYAN WINS, 31-28