2018-19 NPL Championship – Who Drinks from the Seer Cup?

by Skip Brainless

August 1, 2019

NPL Playoffs – SEER CUP!

The Seer Cup, a 138 year old tradition that started on the coast of Norway in a small fishing village, was originally an elaborate dodge-ball game with teams of fifty squaring off in the public square. The game evolved into modern day football, but the trophy – a large silver goblet filled with fish and gravy – remains to this day, sans the fish and gravy. 137 times the Seer Cup has switched hands, and 137 hearts have been broken attempting to grasp that elusive trophy.

As tradition dictates, the 138th Seer Cup is once again played in the small, coastal city rich in Norwegian heritage: Stubbtown, WA.

The majestic Stubb Field holds 120,000 excited fans of all ages, as the Steven Sausages look to create a new legacy of champions from under the shadow of their repeated failures. They’ll make their first appearance in the Seer Cup, facing another newcomer to the ‘ship – the Brandon Braggadocios and their steady-handed veteran QB, Merlin Brando!

The Sausages!
The Braggadocios!
The Seer Cup!





The Seer Cup – Stubb Field in Stubbtown, WA
Weather: 59 degrees, clear
Kickoff: 1:24 pm, Sunday January 27th, 2019


The mad-scrambling of QB Merlin Brando was not in the game plan for the Brandon Braggadocios, especially in their first three passing attempts in the opening drive. Brando was flushed from the pocket, or outright swallowed, within a heartbeat of the snap. The Sausages defense was as rude to Brando as an 8th grader judging your wardrobe, only far less sarcastic. Forcing to go to the ground, out of their element, the Braggadocios were unable to put any points on the board heading into halftime.

The Sausages, however, were sizzling right out of the frying pan, grilling the Braggadocios secondary with a variety of passing concepts designed to attack the otherwise formidable zone defense that brought Brandon to the championship. QB Steven Stevenson was able to find WR Stephen Steadman on consecutive 25 yard completions, the latter going for an easy score when the defense mixed up their assignments, like cheating 8th graders trying to copy each other’s homework minutes before class starts.

At the half, the Sausages head into the locker room leading 17-0.


The Country-Rap-Competitive Eater trio, Heartburn for My Horses, played a collection of their hits while downing an impressive 132 hot dogs. It was disgusting.


Receiving the second half kick, and picking up right where they left off, the Braggadocios went three-and-out in ho-hum fashion. The Sausages immediately capitalized on the early possession and pulled to a 24-0 lead after Steadman again found the endzone. Things looked to be getting out of control, like when a group of 8th graders surround you in the courtyard to do Fortnite dances, laughing gleefully at your discomfort and general societal disappointment. That is until Brando was able to survive for a few seconds in the pocket and find WR Brantley Brandleman for an 83 yard strike to quiet the Sausages faithful.

Steadman, who was heading toward a Seer Cup MVP, was brought back to reality in the ensuing kickoff, fumbling the catch at the 8 yard line. The ball bounded into the hands of Braden Branderson, the rookie wideout that earns his paychecks on special teams. The Braggadocios scored in quick fashion, when TE Brandooley Brendleburg found an open spot in the endzone for the easy pitch-and-catch, to bring the score to 24-14 to close out the 3rd quarter.

But, like an 8th grader that accidentally wets himself in front of the entire student body, there was no way for the Braggadocios to recover from the massive early deficit. Brando was intercepted in the comeback effort, a pick-six by LB Stephon Steveley to put the game well out of reach. Add in a field goal with 3:29 on the game clock, count it down, and drop the confetti. STEVEN WINS, 34-14

2019 Seer Cup Champions

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