The Micropolitans are the first to get a table reservation in the 2025 postseason!

The Javelineers have heated up at just the right time. After starting the year 0-4, they won five of their next six to stay in the mix, and they get revenge on the Baboons for their Week 3 defeat here to jump into a tie with their visiting opponent (and the rest of the Prophet Division) for first place with only three weeks remaining in the regular season!

JOSH WINS, 38-23

A nice rebound here from the Minotaurs, and a decent skid by the Reremice, brings the division to a 6-5 deadlock for first place. Nine of 16 teams in the Soothsayer Conference are at six wins following this week’s action and four of them are in the Prophet Division!

MICHAEL WINS, 37-22

The Vapulaters were winners of their previous two coming into this road match-up against the Eruption, but back-to-back weeks of overtime action may spell doom for their durability. The Eruption outlast the Vapulaters in OT for the win here.

ERIK WINS, 44-29

NPL Title Belt Match!

The Micropolitans had a teamwide butthole clench when this one spilled into overtime. This NPL Title Belt match was the closest game they’ve played since they squeaked by LeScoot in overtime in Week 6. They were able to hold off the Sackbuts in bonus time to move that winning streak to 8 games and guarantee themselves a playoff spot!

MATT WINS, 35-24

The Bous bounce back! They boot a go-ahead field goal with only two minutes remaining in OT, then got home on a 4th down sack when the BB Cannons tried to respond, handing the home team their third straight loss. The Bous are back in first, leaving the stadium with a one game advantage over Brent.

CARI WINS, 30-27

The Rock Lobsters refuse to be the focus of the Golden Rock Lobster Award this season and use this humble victory over Jerry to secure their first winning streak of the season! At 4-7, they’ve tied their hosts and clawed their way out of the worst record in the conference.

RICKY WINS, 17-6

The Adam Bombs escape the Blue Tits at home and find themselves with a winning record again, just as the season is starting to near the finish line. Can they hold off Bette and Brandon and reach the post-season for a repeat chance?

ADAM WINS, 27-12

The LeScavengers absolutely throttle the hosting Braggadocios in this one. LeScoot is now tied with the division-leading Braggadocios in points scored, a reminder that their struggles have largely stemmed from having the most difficult schedule in the NPL.

LeSCOOT WINS, 44-6

The Martians have faced one of the toughest schedules in the league, right there with LeScoot and DaVena. (Perhaps they should be MiRanda). Still, they’ve gotta do better than this. Rachel didn’t necessarily do well, but not much was needed.

RACHEL WINS, 19-0

Both 6-4 teams watched on the jumbotrons as the early game finished and Rachel moved to 8-3 on the year. Suddenly, this game had more meaning. Unfortunately, the Evil Entities have been under congressional subpoena concerning game fixing following last week’s second free win from Miranda this season, so they were reasonably stressed.

KELLY WINS, 20-4

This one spilled into overtime following a sloppy first half, which is a given on Jello Shots Day for the Labeorphiles. Any offense that crossed midfield or the goal line were required to do Jello shots, and both teams gulped one down when either team entered their opponent’s red zone (those shots were cherry flavored). As you can imagine, the football was hilarious and OT decided it.

COREY WINS, 22-17

The Androids received a triple-encrypted score update from the NPL app that the Cutthroats had won their game against Laci and that they could jump into first place with a win. Unfortunately, the news update was behind a paywall and they didn’t get access to the article until after the third quarter ended with Travis leading 17-3.

TRAVIS WINS, 20-6

The Cannibals are going to snap and drive the team bus into a canyon. This marks Chris’s fifth loss when scoring 24+ points and their fourth loss in overtime. The Sausages come away with the win here, keeping them alive in the hunt for the division title!

STEVEN WINS, 31-28

The Jellyfish needed a bounce back from last week’s loss, but draw the division-leading Killcows on the schedule. The Jellyfish sting, but can’t hold off the Killcows’ 21-point 4th quarter comeback to tie this one at 28-28 and force OT. Kevin takes it in bonus time!

KEVIN WINS, 36-31

At 3-6, the Abactors wouldn’t be blamed for considering this season a wash. But Axell has won two straight, taking this big road win over DaVena, and now find themselves right in the thick of things for a Clairvoyant Conference Wild Card, and are two games back from a division title with three to play!

AXELL WINS, 35-13

It’s the top two offenses in the Clairvoyant Conference meeting up for PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIIME in Week 11! The 6-4 Juggernauts, featuring the golden leg of JMJJ, Joel Michael Jowell-Jollsberg, hosting the red hot Brian Destroyer, quarterback of the Most Unparalleled Demonstration on Synthetic Grass! But wouldn’t you know it, it was a defensive showcase, with both teams recording three takeaways and six sacks. JMJJ even had an off game, going a troublesome 8-for-13 in the winning effort.

JOEL WINS, 26-15