Bonus Play As Two Divisional Playoff Games Go To Overtime!

by Eleanor Crosby

December 28, 2019

2019 NPL Playoffs – Divisional Round Write-Up

The 7-7 Rachel Wrecking Balls look to upset the top seed Chris Cannibals, while Kevin takes on the marvelous Martians in the Clairvoyant Conference. Over in the Soothsayer Conference, two division rivalries in play as the the Berkenbile Baboons try to withstand the punishing Josh Javelineers offense and the Brandon Braggadocios try to avoid the crushing grasp of the Jerry Jaws-of-Life.




David’s Bridal Dome
Berkenbisle of Man, NC
Saturday, 11:00 AM kickoff
Weather: Thermostat Set at 65

WR Benny “& the Jets” Berkens was the first to get the scoring started in this scoreboard busting affair. The Baboons knew coming in they had to match the energy of the high octane Javelineer’s offense led by JDIII.

The Javs had their successes as the game progressed, but they simply could not figure out the Baboons’ innovative 1-6 defense in overtime. BERKENBILE WINS, 42-37

Game decided by the Monday Madness Tiebreaker!
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Delta Southern Railroad Stadium
Brandon-on-the-Bayou, LA
Saturday, 2:00 PM kickoff
Weather: Real Fuckin’ Rainy

Things were going great for the Psychic Division champs, the Brandon Braggadocios, pulling to a 21-7 lead at halftime. But, one bad landing by superstar TE Brandooley Brendleburg early in the third quarter and their offense wasn’t the same.

WR Jim Jim Jerree emerged as the breakout star from that point, pulling in 9 catches in the second half for 171 yards and three scores to get the game to within a field goal with two minutes remaining. A costly fumble by WR Brandon Bigglesmith led to a John Jacob Jerryheimer-Schmidt 56-yard field goal to knot this one up at 34 as time expired. In OT, JERRY WINS, 41-34

Game decided by the Monday Madness Tiebreaker!
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NPL Title Belt Match!

The ‘Bring Him Home’ Dome, Based On The International Bestseller ‘The Martian’ by Andy Weir
Mirandaport, NY
Sunday, 11:00 AM kickoff
Weather: 68 degrees

The Title Belt-holding Martians host a playoff game for the first time in franchise history and they do not disappoint. The complex RPO-Flea Flicker offense of the Martians was a bit too much for the Killcows defense.

Tallying 521 yards of offense, split almost evenly between passing and rushing, the Martians put this one away early, pulling ahead 30-7 by the end of the third quarter. QB Kev Kthulu was not larger than life in the loss, going 11-for-34 for 177 yards passing on the losing effort.

The Title Belt stays with the Martians. MIRANDA WINS, 36-15

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Quizno’s Stadium and Earl’s Tire Pavilion
Chrisland Mountain Springs Lake Park, CO
Sunday, 2:00 PM kickoff
Weather: Clear, Cold AF

RB Cris Cringlesworth was asked if he’d continue playing after his 13th season with the Cannibals. He replied, “If I die, I die”. He then proceeded to notch 233 yards and three touchdowns in the winning effort for Chris.

Rachel, the last remaining 7-7 team in the playoffs, was simply outclassed here. Even the electrifying QB Cyrus Rawkells couldn’t get much going in the loss. The Cannibals defense collected four turnovers, holding the Rachel offense to just 244 yards on the day. CHRIS WINS, 35-22

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