Cari Bous Players Walk Out
Cari Bous players walked out on the coaches on Tuesday morning, in protest of the “awful play calling and lack of preparation” in regards to Monday night’s NPL Game of the Week against the Evil Entities. The Entities, despite being one of the worst offenses in the NPL, still managed to cruise by the heavily favored Cari Bous 19-0.
“What can we do? We can only go out there and run double reverses so many times before the defense catches on and starts putting our guys in the hospital,” said All-Pro TE Kyle Cornswallow. “I mean, our coaches got us this far, sure. But at what point does the gameplan get called into question?”
Jennifer Jellyfish trying new things
“Is this a fluff piece? This feels like a fluff piece,” said WR J.Y. Jenton. “Uh, yeah, I have been trying my hand at knitting. I’ve made a few blankets for my teammates and even knitted my own WR gloves.” Jenton’s drop percentage went up 3% since he started wearing his gloves. Like most of the Jellyfish players, Jenton is looking for a new approach to each game. The struggling Jellyfish offense is among the worst in the NPL and they’re all trying to solve the riddle as to why.
“Yoga. Pilates. Talking like a pirate. I’ve done it all to end an offensive drought,” said QB Jeff Jenstettler. “Yarr, it be a superstition, matey!”