Ethan Ebow Involved in Locker Room Altercation

by Stephen A. Smiff

September 28, 2016

Ethan Ebow, the controversial quarterback of the Evil Entities, was involved in a heated argument in the locker room following Wednesday night’s practice.
Ebow was seen on his knees bathed in a heavenly glow from an unknown source, shouting toward the sky “Father! Give me more time! I need more time!” Sources described the scene as deeply moving, having a profound effect on Ebow’s teammates.
“When he started levitating toward the light, I was freaked the **** out, man”, said All-Pro WR Ethan Edelman. “And where the **** was that heavenly chanting coming from? What the ****!?”

Many speculate that Ebow may have heavenly connections after all. Said kicker Eddy Van Eylan, “I mean, he’s not Christ, right? He’s not cool enough. And Christ could throw better, I think. But he could be like JC’s weird half brother. The Greek gods had bastards all the time, right? Who’s to say this God is any different, y’know? He probably took the form of a mountain goat or somethin’ and seduce Ebow’s mom.”
After Ebow settled back onto the locker room floor and the glow and the chanting faded, Ebow said, “Hey… how did I get here? Did I have another concussion?”
Ebow and the 3-0 Entities host the Kelly Zeros this Sunday.

Leave a Reply