The 2018 Playoff Picture After Week 13

by Benedict Undersnatch

December 7, 2018

The Playoff picture comes into focus! Kinda. Let’s take a look, conference by conference, division by division, team by team, player by player, wristband by wristband, horrendous college fraternity brand by horrendous college fraternity brand, at the upcoming playoff players!

Prophet Division

At 11-2 and 10-3, respectively, the Jason JeStErS and Berkenbile Baboons are both locks for the post season. No other team in the conference will reach 10+ wins. Berkenbile can still claim the division title if they win in Week 14 vs the Michael Minotaurs and Jason loses to the Ryan Reremice. Jason and Berkenbile split the season series, 1-1, so it will come down to other tiebreakers to determine the division champ if they end with the same record.

At 8-5 and 7-6, the Josh Javelineers and Michael Minotaurs are still alive for one of the Wild Card spots (potentially both). Josh hosts the Lauren Lychnobites in Week 14, Michael (as mentioned) faces Berkenbile. At 8-5, the Javs will enter the playoffs with a win. Michael needs a win to force tiebreakers with other teams that can finish 8-6 in the conference.

Eliminated: Ryan, Lauren, Vince

Psychic Division

This division is kind of a mess. We have the Brandon Braggadocios currently leading the division at 8-5. But, close on their heels, all at 7-6, are the Jerry Jaws-of-Life, the LeScoot LeScavengers, and the Brent BB Cannons. The best part is they all control their own fate. No team in the Psychic Division’s playoff hunt is playing a team that is still alive in Week 14. We could potentially see a 4-way tie for 1st Place at 8-6.

Those that don’t get the Division Championship banner or the Runner Up standing will fight Josh and/or Michael for the Wild Card spots in the Soothsayer Conference.

Eliminated: Cari, Adam, Ricky

Augur Division

At 11-2, the Kelly Zeros are the Division Champion. The only question for Kelly is will they be the 1st or 2nd seed in the conference. Either one gets a bye in round one.

At 8-5 and 7-6 heading into Week 14, the Rachel Wrecking Balls and the Miranda Martians are locks for the playoffs. One will enter as a division runner-up while the other will receive a Wild Card sport. Week 14 will determine their fate in that regard.

Then things get real interesting. At 5-8, all four remaining teams are technically still alive. It’s a real possibility that the remaining Wild Card position goes to a 6-8 team in the Clairvoyant Conference – and there could be plenty. We do know that the loser between the Ethan Evil Entities and the Laci Labeorphiles is eliminated. Both the Travis Tichorrhines and the Andrew Androids play teams that are locks for the playoffs, so they control their own fate.

Andrew is the favorite of the 5-8 teams in this division to move on, should they win in Week 14.

Oracle Division

Thanks to a hot start and a hot finish for our 10-3 teams, the DaVena Ballerinas and the Steven Sausages are locks for the playoffs as either the Division Champions or the runner-up. The question is “Who gets to raise the banner?” DaVena visits the Kevin Killcows while Steven hosts Travis in Week 14.

And, like the Augur Division, things get kinda messy from there. Jennifer has the best chance, at 6-7, to get the last Wild Card spot – a win and they’re in. However, should they lose in Week 14 to the Chris Cannibals, they’ll fall to 6-8 and open up all sorts of possibilities for the other 5-8 teams in the division (Chris Cannibals, Kevin Killcows, Joel Juggernauts).

If Chris defeats Jennifer, Joel defeats Corey, and Kevin defeats DaVena, there will be a 4-way tie in the division at 6-8. Then we’ll have to do some math. But not right now.

Eliminated: Corey

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