The NPL Awards – 2020

by Eleanor Crosby

December 16, 2020

Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen! I’d offer a special thanks to our media partners, sponsors, respected officials and our very talented athletes if we had any. I heartily welcome you all to the 2020 NPL Awards!
It does not give me pleasure to host this ceremony, since I am not paid for this appearance! This event truly showcases the commitment that all the NPL players have shown towards tapping their phone a dozen times then pressing “Submit”. Our finely tuned prognosticators have made us extremely proud. Except Brent. We forever shall be shamed by his actions.
Today, we are here to announce the lucky winners of the 2020 NPL Awards! A huge congratulations to all the finalists, you have definitely set a very admiring benchmark for all these other losers to imitate. Let’s get to it!

2020 NPL Awards
The WILLIAM TELL AwardGiven to the Most Accurate Player
Brandon (Braggadocios)66.4%

Brandon edged out Jerry (Jaws-of-Life) by one correct pick. Ryan (Reremice) was the only other player in the NPL to surpass 90 picks correct this season.

The HELEN KELLER AwardGiven to the Least Accurate Player
Cari (Bous)43.8%

This is for accuracy on submitted picks, so no-shows do not impact this particular award. If we went with total of correct picks, Vince would claim this award with 54 correct (Cari had 57).

The OUT ON A LIMB AwardGiven to the player with the most Lonesome Loser awards
Cari (Bous)6

Cari’s strong showing in this category propelled her to 2nd All-Time for Lonesome Loser awards (11), trailing Laci (17).

The HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO AwardGiven to the player with the most Solo Soothsayer Awards
Several Players1

Matt, Axell, Travis, Vince, Miranda, Ryan, and Michael all got to laugh at the rest of the NPL.

The MAD WORLD AwardGiven to the player with the most Monday Madness awards
Josh (Javelineers)3

Michael (Minotaurs), Laci (Labeorphiles), and Kevin (Killcows), all of whom submit ’42’ for each and every MM score, did not take the win here. Interesting.

The I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY GET PAID FOR THIS AwardGiven to the player with the most “Are You Smarter Than ESPN?” Awards
Jerry (Jaws-of-Life)6

This one was particularly more difficult than it looked this year. ESPN’s experts were much better than usual.

The JAY-Z AwardGiven to the player with the highest accuracy with a losing record
Bette (Blue Tits)6-8, 62.1% (t-7th)

Instead of treated, Bette gets tricked. Instead of kisses, she gets kicked. It’s the hard knock life.

The KARDASHIAN Award“Success without any measurable skills.” Given to the player with the lowest accuracy and a winning record
Andrew (Androids)8-6, 56.8%

Andrew’s accuracy suffered in the first half of the season, but you’ll see that he actually rallied and had a great second half. Still, the award goes to whomever earns it!

The HONEY, I’M WORKING LATE AT THE OFFICE AwardGiven to the player with the most games decided by the Monday Madness Tiebreaker
Joel (Juggernauts)7

There were 54 games decided by the Monday Madness Tiebreaker in 2020. Only Michael and Berkenbile did not play in multiple MM Tiebreaker games. Michael avoided overtime until the final game of the regular season.

The IT’S A NUMBERS GAME AwardGiven to the player that won the most Monday Madness tiebreakers.
Brandon (Braggadocios)4

Brandon went to OT five times in 2020, winning four of those five contests. Ryan (Reremice) also won four Monday Madness Tiebreakers, however, it took him more tries (6) than Brandon (5).

The NOISY CRICKET AwardMore dangerous than they look. Given to the player that has lost the most Monday Madness tiebreakers.
Jennifer (Jellyfish)5

Jennifer saw six games go to OT this year. She was 1-5 in MM Tiebreakers.

The WILDERNESS GIRLS AwardGiven to the player that has collected the most unique* badges.
Kevin (Killcows)25

*Only includes badges that can be collected through luck or skillKevin edged out Jason and Jerry, both collecting 23 unique badges each.

The GOLDEN ROCK LOBSTER AwardGiven to the most deserving player to lose to the worst team
Vince (Vapulaters)

Vince gave Cari her only win on the season. Ironically, Cari was the winner of last season’s award, having lost to Ricky. It’s like the NPL Title Belt of Sucking. This year, Cari represents the Golden Rock Lobster with her 1-13 record.

The I LOVE GOOOOOLD AwardGiven to the player with the most Quality Week Medal points


(5 for Platinum, 3 for Gold, 2 for Silver, 1 for Bronze)

Brandon (Braggadocios)13 pts

Jerry (Jaws-of-Life) and Jason (JeStErS) also reached 13 pts, but Brandon and Jerry both had more Quality Weeks in total (9) than Jason (8), and for the tiebreaker, Brandon had more Gold medals (2) than Jerry (1), and no Donuts (3 or fewer correct – Jerry had 1).

The FELL OFF A CLIFF AwardGiven to a top player of the first half that crumbled in the second half and failed to make the playoffs
Jason (JeStErS)

Jason (JeStErS) was 5-2 with an unprecedented 74.3% Pick Accuracy (1st). He finished 3-4 and slid to t-7th in Pick Accuracy.

The REPORTS OF MY DEMISE HAVE BEEN GROSSLY EXAGGERATED AwardGiven to a struggling player of the first half that rallied in the second half to make the playoffs
Andrew (Androids)

Andrew started 2020 by failing to submit in the first two weeks of the year, then finished the first half with a 2-5 record. In the second half he rallied, winning the final six contests of the 2020 season to snag a Wild Card – his first playoff appearance in 12 seasons!

The LOSERS BRACKET AwardGiven to the player that really should have a much better record
Jennifer (Jellyfish)7-7

Jennifer finished a respectable 7-7 on the year, but was t-1st in her conference in Pick Accuracy (t-4th overall), five of her seven losses were in MM Tiebreakers, and she was one of only 8 players with 10+ Quality Week Points.

NPL Rookie of the Year AwardTop Rookie of the 2020 Season
Matt (Micropolitans)

This award is pretty rare, as it’s not often new players are introduced to the NPL. This year, we saw three rookies join (as well as the return of an NPL legend in Bette) to expand the NPL to 32 players.

For the rookies, Axell struggled for much of the season, starting the year with a 1-7 record. He found his footing, however, and finished a respectable 4-2 to close out the year. Brian had a fine season in accuracy (t-7th), but bounced back from wins to losses to settle in a 7-7 on the season.

Matt, our winner, topped Brian in accuracy (6th) and won his division with a 9-5 record.

NPL Player of the Year AwardTop Player of the 2020 Season
Jerry (Jaws-of-Life)

Is there a better way to follow up a Seer Cup victory? Jerry started 2020 with a 7-game winning streak, snagged the Title Belt (twice), and finished 2020 with a career best in Pick Accuracy (65.7% – 2nd in the NPL) and wins (12 – ties the NPL record).

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