With the Seer Cup in Sight, the Final Four Do Battle!

by Chester Curlybush

January 3, 2019

NPL Playoffs – Conference Championships

And like that… there were two. Chris does his best to continue the spoiler train against their division rival Steven Sausages in the Clairvoyant Conference championship, while the BB Cannons and Braggadocios slug it out in a Psychic Division showdown for the Soothsayer Conference title. Winners to the ‘ship!




Delta Southern Railroad Stadium
Brandon-on-the-Bayou, LA
1:00 PM kickoff
Weather: Moderately warm, all things considered

The Braggadocios took a rather unusual plan of attack for the conference championship, knocking kicker Brentleburg McBrentsworth out of the game on the opening kickoff return. This forced the BB Cannons to either use punter Brently Brents as their placekicker, or go for the two point conversion on every score. The plan seemed to work, at first, as the Braggadocios cruised to a 21-12 lead at halftime.

But, the BB Cannons were in this game for a reason: bribery. And they were able to bribe the officials to ‘look the other way’ on a few blatant penalties in the second half – tremendous momentum boosters that kept the game close. By the time regulation closed out at 24-24, Brandon had been flagged 18 times for 211 yards to Brent’s 3 penalties for 15 yards.

In the overtime period, the injured kicker came to haunt the BB Cannons. Brandon opened up scoring with a 42 yard touchdown run by RB Benny Brandt and an extra point added by K Bran Kiksit, to go up 31-24. Brent countered with an 11 play, 82 yard touchdown drive, capped with a 3-yard shovel pass TE Barry K. Beesley. The Braggadocios defense stood strong on the 2-pt conversion attempt, leaving Brent down by one with under 3 minutes remaining. The onside kick was unsuccessful, and Brandon was able to convert multiple first downs to drain the clock to seal the victory. BRANDON WINS, 31-30

Game decided by the Monday Madness Tiebreaker!

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Jimmy Dean Sizzling Center of Sports
Steveland, OH
5:00 PM kickoff
Weather: Snowing

The spoiler train derails as the Sausages sizzle at home in the Clairvoyant Conference Championship. The Cannibals could not get any momentum going after RB Cris Cringlesworth was ejected for headbutting an official after a 7-yard loss early in the 1st quarter. With the run game effectively crippled, QB Christoff Christmas was tasked with keeping things close. After three interceptions in the second quarter, the score was anything but at 28-3.

The Sausages, the hottest team remaining in the NPL Playoffs, just needed to survive from that point on. Relying heavily on the untested legs of backup runningback, rookie Steph McStevens, the Sausages turned on the meat grinder and drained the clock with little resistance. The Cannibals’ storybook playoff run comes to a close, as STEVEN WINS, 35-6

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