Everyone’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey

The Javelineers just needed to ACT NATURAL for this one, as the Cannibals have been sucking EIGHT DAYS A WEEK. JOSH WINS, 20-0

The Juggernauts crush the rising Baboons, FIXING A HOLE in their defensive game planning. IT’S ALL TOO MUCH for Berkenbile to overcome in this one. JOEL WINS, 29-6

The Rock Lobsters weren’t worried about their offensive gameplan that has struggled recently, opting to LET IT BE when hosting Rachel. But, the Wrecking Balls brought MAXWELL’S SILVER HAMMER on defense, crushing Ricky in the process. RACHEL WINS, 16-5

The Reremice REVOLUTION continues, as they stomp the Bongos, who ditched their strategy and shifted to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE instead. RYAN WINS, 26-15

ROLL OVER BEETHOVEN, the JeStErS crafted another masterpiece, demolishing the Ballerinas at home, not even giving them A TASTE OF HONEY for the scoreboard. Shut out, baby. JASON WINS, 36-0

LITTLE CHILDren didn’t submit picks. Both woke up and saw that and said, “I’M A LOSER”. But, AXELL WINS, 63-52

A horrendous game from both teams here, but someone must come out on top in THE END. And despite such a poor showing, the winner is Kevin… BECAUSE. KEVIN WINS, 16-3

The Jellyfish were FLYING by the Micropolitans, but the BOYS from Matt stormed back for the tie and eventual OT win. MATT WINS, 30-25

The LeScavengers needed a win, FOR NO ONE but themselves. It was A HARD DAY’S NIGHT, but LeScoot eventually claimed that W. LeSCOOT WINS, 27-15

The Braggadocios were HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE on defense in the OT period, basically shutting out the Labeorphiles in bonus time. That or the Labeorphiles offense was just NOWHERE MAN. BRANDON WINS, 41-34

The disjointed Tichorrhines locker room could not COME TOGETHER to best the Adam Bombs here on the road. For the A-Bombs, it was A DAY IN THE LIFE of a winning franchise, which is a nice break from the NPL seasonal depression they have experienced as of late. ADAM WINS, 19-6

The Andrew Androids crush the Blue Tits on the road, with the home team crying “HELP!” by the end of the 3rd quarter. Unfortunately, EVERY LITTLE THING went Andrew’s way in the easy win. ANDREW WINS, 28-0

NPL Title Belt Match!

THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR continues for the Kelly Zeros, who go week to week in deciding if they’re good or bad. But in this one, they got to tell the Title Belt holders, “HONEY, DON’T worry about that belt, we’ll take care of it for now.” KELLY WINS, 8-0

This game is clear evidence that the BB Cannons do not know WHAT GOES ON for game planning in typical franchises. After the game, when complimented about the depth of his penetration in the pass rush by the opposing QB, defensive end Eddy Ethansburg shrugged and said, “YOUR MOTHER SHOULD KNOW.” The brawl hospitalized eleven. ETHAN WINS, 18-0

Most teams check the schedules for Cari, saying “PLEASE, PLEASE, ME” in hopes that it’s their turn to claim a free win, while the rest of the league is shrugging at the Bous’ repeated no-shows, mumbling “TELL ME WHY”. MIRANDA WINS, 10-0

The Minotaurs completely annihilate the Sausages in PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIME. Steven would like to go back to YESTERDAY to have another crack at this one, while the Minotaurs took great satisfaction in handing out some MISERY to their opponents. MICHAEL WINS, 37-0