It’s the Final Countdown! Doo doo dee doo! Doo doo dee-doo doo!

The Javs chose the worst time to drop two games in a row – week 11 and week 12, and against division rivals. Seems the rebuild is now completely underway for the Javelineers. They get hooves on their neck from the Minotaurs here. Michael takes this one, improving to 8-4, and taking a one game lead in the Prophet Division. MICHAEL WINS, 35-15

The JeStErS had a winning record just four weeks ago, but have since dropped four games, putting them in the “longshot, but technically still alive” category in the playoff hunt at 5-7. Matt takes this one, improving to 8-4, and taking a one game lead in the Mystic Division. Wait, that sounds familiar. MATT WINS, 19-6

The Sackbuts sacked butt in this one, dropping the Vapulaters’ three QBs a total of 9 times in the narrow victory. The Vaps fall to 5-7 and into that “longshot, but technically still alive” category in the playoff hunt at 5-7. The Sackbuts are in the “more realistic potential Wild Card but could snag the Division title too” category after this W. SAMUEL WINS, 18-6

NPL Title Belt Match!

The BB Cannons visit their division rival Jaws-of-Life, both teams entering the contest at 7-4 on the year. Jerry takes this one, improving to 8-4, and taking a one game lead in the Psychic Division. Again? What the fridge!? JERRY WINS, 38-13

The Rock Lobsters rattled off a good winning streak for a few weeks, but have since dropped the last tow, this one to the visiting Cari Bous. The Bous have now won two straight and improve to 6-6 on the year, which puts them right in the thick of things. CARI WINS, 22-11

The Foreteller Division Champions, the Bette Blue Tits, improve their winning streak to five games with this overtime victory over the Braggadocios. Brandon wanted this one bad, but ended up taking their 7th loss on the year, putting them in that category that I mentioned earlier. BETTE WINS, 31-24

It’s been a season of disappointing losses for the LeScavengers, dropping close games or falling in overtime. This week, they didn’t even manage to score a point against the middle-of-the-road Adam Bombs defense. With three teams in the conference guaranteed to end with no more than 7 losses, the LeScavengers 4-8 record leaves them on the outside looking in. ADAM WINS, 19-0

The Wrecking Balls keep slipping and the Evil Entities keep taking advantage. Ethan crushes the Martians on this one, winning their third straight. The win gets them to within one game of the division leader late in the season. Could be an interesting finish! ETHAN WINS, 27-6

The Zeros are a darn good football team. Their recent struggles does not reflect the talent on the roster, which is largely the same from their 12-win season in 2018. That team showed up today, taking down the division leader in a blowout victory. KELLY WINS, 26-6

The Auspex Division is the tightest race in the NPL this season, with all four teams leaving week 12 with the same record. With Andrew snagging this win over Corey, both teams settle in at 5-7 and tied for first. However, both teams will need to finish strong as tiebreakers heavily favor Travis should the season end today. ANDREW WINS, 27-13

Much like the Andrew-Corey match-up, this one also settles both teams in at 5-7 with two weeks remaining. The explosive performance by Travis last week, and their three game winning streak, puts them as favorites to take home the banner, but it’s still anyone’s division. TRAVIS WINS, 19-6

The Bongos overcook the sausages on this one, winning by more than three scores. They’re still in the hunt for the division title, one game back of Joel, but are in a favorable position for one of the Clairvoyant Conference Wild Cards should they fall short. The Sausages at 4-8, however, are cooked. BRIAN WINS, 35-12

The Juggernauts needed this one to keep those Bongos from prancing their way to the division lead. They hold off a fine performance from Chris to retain the lead, but Brian is breathing down their necks. The Cannibals fall to 4-8 and help set up bunk beds in the cellar with Steven. JOEL WINS, 35-24

The Jellyfish have been consistently one of the best teams in the NPL this season. They’re tied for the league lead in wins (10) and stand alone as the top offense in the league. Kevin needed this one to stay alive, but the schedule can be cruel at times. JENNIFER WINS, 18-6

Neck and neck for most of the year with the Jellyfish, the Ballerinas have slipped slightly. They are still technically in the hunt for the Sage Division banner behind the Jellyfish, but they’re also in the best shape for a Wild Card. Unlike others in the division, if they win they’re in. Axell plays spoiler on that, however, and keeps DaVena’s playoff hopes in the dark for at least one week more. AXELL WINS, 20-0

With both teams coming into PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIIME at 6-5, the Berkenbile-Ryan match-up was ripe with playoff implications. The Reremice boast the significantly better offense, but the Baboons defense is actual, literal baboons, and they’re fucking terrifying. Nothing in the rules that says they can’t do that, though. That defense bites, claws, and defecates on the Reremice offense and takes a crucial victory to stay one game back of the Minotaurs. BERKENBILE WINS, 29-15