The Wrecking Balls Cruise to the Seer Cup With Decisive Win Over the Bongos!

by Chester Curlybush

January 22, 2022

2021 NPL Playoffs – Conference Championships

The Bette Blue Tits clash against the Samuel Sackbuts in the Soothsayer Conference Championships, pitting their red hot offenses against each other (not literally, they play the opposing team’s defenses technically) for a chance to hoist the Seer Cup! The Bongos make their first playoff appearance a memorable one and go all the way to the Conference Championship to face the Wrecking Balls in their annual playoff appearance. Winners move on to the Seer Cup! Losers move on to heavy drug use to recover from horrific injuries! It’s the NPL Conference Championships!

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The Two Best Records in The Clairvoyant Conference Are Sent Packing in the Divisional Round!

by Benedict Undersnatch

January 15, 2022

2021 NPL Playoffs – Divisional Round

The Divisional Round pits the red hot rookie sensations, the Samuel Sackbuts, against a perennial powerhouse in the Soothsayer Conference! The Bette Blue Tits host their first playoff game in who knows how long (I’m not looking it up)! DaVena puts their conference-best record on the line against the Wrecking Balls! Jennifer puts their conference-best record on the line against the Bongos! (They both have the best record, get off my back!) It’s the 2021 Divisional Playoffs!

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Rest in Peace, Jason

by The Commish

January 12, 2022

On Sunday, the NPL lost a close friend. Jason Danch, the operator of the Jason JeStErS NPL franchise had his life cut suddenly short in an unfortunate and heartbreaking motorcycle accident.

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The Samuel Sackbuts Play to Perfection In Their First Playoff Game!

by Chester Curlybush

December 30, 2021

2021 NPL Playoffs – Wild Card Round

It’s the Wild Card Round, where the worst record in the Clairvoyant Conference faces the best record in the Clairvoyant Conference, but the team that’s the home team just might surprise you! Clickbait! It’s the NPL Playoffs, 2021!

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NPL Awards – 2021

by Eleanor Crosby

December 15, 2021

And just like that, the 2021 regular season is in the books. It seemed like just yesterday the Commish was asking people if they still wanted to play. No, I’m not talking about the annual ‘Are you in?’ text. I’m talking about the two different weeks where the NPL set and then tied the record for the most no-shows (with nine!). Squid Game had more willing participants! [pause for laughter]
Not scheduled to make an appearance at tonight’s award ceremony are the Josh Javelineers. They finished with their worst record and accuracy since 2008 and missed out on all the awards, the postseason, and happiness. Cari and Laci make their annual appearances in the Lonesome Losers and Lowest Pick Accuracy categories. Just which category they claim is entirely up to them, it seems. And our lone rookie, Samuel, went against all odds to win Rookie of the Year, but we considered giving it to Miranda, since her three wins were certainly rookie-esque. [even longer pause for laughter]
Today, we are here to announce the lucky winners of the 2021 NPL Awards! A huge congratulations to all the finalists, you have definitely set a very admiring benchmark for all these other losers to imitate. Let’s get to it!

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