The Abactors Abuse the Competition

by Skip Brainless

September 13, 2023

NPL Week 1 – Results!

The Erik Eruption make their NPL debut, taking on the defending NPL champions! LeScoot lays an egg! The Javelineers make easy work of a division rival! The Augur Division loves overtime! It’s the NPL, Week One!

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Let’s Wrap Up the Regular Season, Baby!

by Bernard Bagelbite

December 15, 2022

NPL Week 14 – Results!

It’s the holiday season, so it’s time to put a bow on the 2022 regular season! Let’s do a season recap for all the teams – you know, like we do every season.

It’s the NPL season end write-up!

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Negative, One Direction is Not Playing Seer Cup Halftime Show

by Eleanor Crosby

NPL Week 13 – Results!

Zeros can’t find the motivation to show up to the stadium, joining a handful of teams in an apparent boycott of the unfair practices of the NPL, namely that the teams that play better are getting all the W’s and that’s just not fun for anyone.

Let’s count’em up, folks! It’s the NPL Write-Up with a very obvious pattern!

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The Micropolitans Go MEGApolitans in a Big Blowout Priiiiiiime Tiiiiiiime Win!

by Bernard Bagelbite

NPL Week 12 – Results!

Completely out of ideas of who to quote or where to find inspiration for the write-ups, this writer returns to the well and just spews the first nonsense that comes to his head. You’re welcome, NPL. You’re welcome, WORLD!

It’s the NPL Write-Up, Week 12!

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Life Is Very Short and There’s No Time For Fussing And Fighting, My Friend

by Lisa Largenips

December 6, 2022

NPL Week 11 – Results!

Maybe I’m amazed at the way you love these write-ups all the time.
Maybe I’m afraid of the way I love you
Maybe I’m amazed at the the way you pulled your phone out
And submitted picks on time.
Maybe I’m amazed at the way I really need you…

…to read this NPL Write-Up in the lyrics of The Beatles!

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