Chill Out, Dickwad

by Chester Curlybush

December 6, 2022

NPL Week 10 – Results!

In three years, the NPL will become the largest supplier of football prediction systems. All football broadcasters are upgraded with NPL computers, becoming fully unmanned. Afterwards, they pick with a perfect operational record. The NPL Funding Bill is passed. The NPL-AI goes online August 4th, 2027. Human decisions are removed from picks. The NPL begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th.

It’s the NPL Write Up, Ah-nold style!

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I Wish God Were Alive To See This

by Stephen A. Smiff

November 16, 2022

NPL Week 9 – Results!

Look, Marge, you don’t know what it’s like. I’m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I’m not out of order! You’re out of order! The whole freakin’ system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth! You can’t handle the truth! ‘Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do!

Forget it, Marge, it’s the NPL Write Up: Homer Simpson style!

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Remember… The Force Will Be With You. Always.

by Bernard Bagelbite

NPL Week 8 – Results!

I think that’s how it is with write-ups. You don’t always understand them, but when they are gone, you miss them. And you suddenly realize how urgent it is that you get another one typed up real fast.

It’s the NPL Write-Up, Obi-Wan Kenobi style!

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The Wise Speak Only of What They Know

by Lisa Largenips

November 4, 2022

NPL Week 7 – Results!

Deserve it! I daresay you do. Many that play in the NPL deserve write-ups. And some that don’t deserve death. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.

It’s the NPL Write-up, from the wise words of Gandalf!

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Passing. Sideline. Caught. No Flags.

by Chester Curlybush

October 28, 2022

NPL Week 6 – Results!

Why do a write-up when you can just use the commentary from the broadcasts? Here’s the NPL in Week 6, as brought to you by some iconic play-by-play!

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