Laci and Travis are the Only Teams That Did Not Suck This Week!

The Reremice are struggling more than a pirate with two hook hands trying to fill up water balloons! LAUREN WINS, 26-12

The Javelineers rally in overtime to sneak one away from the Vapulaters on the road. JOSH WINS, 30-25

NPL Title Belt Match!

The JeStErS upset Michael’s second attempt at claiming the NPL Title Belt, narrowly escaping with an overtime victory. JASON WINS, 19-12

DaVena stinks up the joint, but that’s nothing that the BB Cannons aren’t used to, since their stadium is frequently used as a horse track and slaughterhouse in the off season. BRENT WINS, 9-0

The ‘Bous were bad, but now they’re good? It’s hard to say, but they top the division leading A-Bombs here on the road to claim a big divisional win. CARI WINS, 16-3

The LeScavengers had a decent week compared to most offenses, but settled for three redzone field goals in the win. LeSCOOT WINS, 9-0

Ricky claims the biggest win of the week, dropping an 18-0 shutout on the Braggadocios. Ricky Mean was absent from the game for his criminal trial for illegal possession of an exotic species of bird. RICKY WINS, 18-0

The Cannibals get bested by the visiting Jellyfish whose triple option offense finally sees all QBs on the roster not leave the game with injuries. JENNIFER WINS, 11-0

Joel Michael Jowell-Jollsberg goes 6-for-6 to lead the charge of the Juggernauts in a big divisional win over the Cutthroats. JOEL WINS, 25-10

The Killcows didn’t have much confidence in this outcome, down 12-0 at the end of the 3rd quarter. But thanks to just the most hilarious, repeated mistakes by the Sausages, they escape with the win. KEVIN WINS, 26-12

Miranda nearly got blanked at home by the visiting Baboons, but were able to send a field goal through the uprights with 0:18 left in the game to keep the goose egg off the board. BERKENBILE WINS, 26-3

The Labeorphiles and the Tichorrhines were the lone bright spots on offense in the league this week, both amassing 450+ yards in the effort. But is that because they figured it out or because they played awful defenses? LACI WINS, 47-21

It was a high scoring affair in this one as Rachel tops Andrew with a 9-0 victory in the shutout. This would clearly demoralize the Androids if they were capable of such foolish human emotions. RACHEL WINS, 9-0

Somehow the Evil Entities avoided overtime, but they still managed to look awful on the primetime stage. Kudos to Kelly, however, for doing one better and looking even worse in the Game of the Week. ETHAN WINS, 10-0