The Vapulaters Play Big Time in Prime Time!

The JeStErS continue to ride their high flying offense, putting together their second straight dominant performance. The Minotaurs are again struggling with a defense that gives up too many points for their offense to overcome. JASON WINS, 54-32

Like a lactose intolerant toddler that likes to sleep in the nude, the Evil Entities really shit the bed on this one. The Rock Lobsters unleashed Ricky Mean, who tallied 5 sacks, 2 INTs, and one charge for insider trading (which is a 15 yard penalty). RICKY WINS, 20-0

NPL Title Belt Match!

The Berkenbile Baboons were hoping to ride that Title Belt all the way to the Seer Cup, but the ride has come to an end. The Javelineers barely dodged the loss here, toppling the Baboons in overtime to create a logjam at the top of the Prophet Division. JOSH WINS, 17-16

The Zeros bullied the Wrecking Balls at home, relying on good ol’ fashioned, hard-nosed football. Well, that and they painted their field lines with bacon grease. The Wrecking Balls couldn’t get their run game going and they also left smelling delicious. KELLY WINS, 36-12

Quickly becoming one of the NPLs premier divisional rivalries, the Jaws-of-Life get the upper hand in the latest match-up. Their 221 yards rushing were best in the NPL, but their horizontal striped jerseys left something to be desired. JERRY WINS, 36-22

The Braggadocios put on a clinic on the road against Brent. Not a football clinic, mind you, but a free health clinic for the insufferable body odor that usually haunts Brents’ fans. With the air cleared, Brandon worked the BB Cannons for the road victory. BRANDON WINS, 26-6

The LeScavengers work to keep pace with the top of the Psychic Division by taking down the A-Bombs at home. They cut the green wire with the clock at 0:01 to claim the W. LeSCOOT WINS, 35-23

The Cannibals decide to end the speculation before the 24-hour NPL news cycle gets carried away, and give Corey their first win of the season. Nothing sells tickets like drama and no one wants to watch their team play a team that doesn’t have a win. The Cannibals, once again, looking at the bottom line. COREY WINS, 36-22

While both sides of the ball are ranking among the league averages, DaVena is still finding ways to win. Sometimes it doesn’t mean “be the best”, it just means “be better than the other guys”. In this case, the other guys are the Sausages, who fall to 2-2 to the now 4-0 Ballerinas. DAVENA WINS, 26-13

The Killcows rebound from back to back losses in this one, as they topple the Juggernauts, who have now lost two in a row after starting the season on the right foot. They also relied on the right foot of Joel Michael Jowell-Jollsberg, who was a perfect 8-for-8 in the loss. KEVIN WINS, 35-24

The Reremice, able to be rid of the Berkenbile Baboons for the remainder of the season, are finally able to put together a couple good games. They get their second win in a row, this one at home hosting the Jellyfish and they get another shot at the Title Belt next weekend against Josh. RYAN WINS, 24-19

Laci and Miranda liked playing each other so much, they decided to go ahead and play a bonus period. The beer stopped being served, so most of the stadium vacated, and good thing too. Laci was able to knock a game winner through with just 9:49 left in overtime. LACI WINS, 25-22

The Androids and Tichorrhines were the last two left in the Augur Division to play on Sunday. Both at 1-2 coming in, one was going to enter the 6-way tie for 1st place, while the other would be moving into a new, cold, cellar apartment. The cellar dweller turns out to be Travis here, as the Androids go big on the road. ANDREW WINS, 38-15

Lauren missed the bus to the airport, missed their flight to Vincinnati, and missed their back-up train on top of that. Vince team managers bought out the local pro shops’ supplies of Lauren jerseys to field an opposition until the Lychnobites showed up. Needless to say, this prime time game was horrendously one-sided. VINCE WINS, 37-0