The Cari Bous Rise to the Top of the Psychic Division!

Rookie back-up QB, Joss Shua, continues to impress with JDIII out of the lineup, as the Javelineers offense emerges as one of the best units in the NPL. The Baboons are treating their 2-game skid like Fight Club, absolutely not talking about it. JOSH WINS, 37-24

The JeStErS are the top offense in the NPL, even after dropping this heartbreaking road loss to the Minotaurs. Michael finally gets a win in the new uniforms, moving to 1-4 since making the uniform switch in Week 2, but they’re still deadlocked for a last place tie with the Vapulaters. MICHAEL WINS, 19-18

The Reremice need the overtime period to bounce back from their three game skid, and even then manage to only win by a last second field goal. But, they’re back on the right track, while the aforementioned Vapulaters are greeted by the Minotaurs in the cellar. RYAN WINS, 31-28

The Adam Bombs can’t handle their one match-up with the rival division, where the Prophet division’s Lychnobites shut out the A-Bombs on the road. Both teams find themselves at 3-3 after this one, but moving in opposite directions, like brothers with jetpacks but one put theirs on upside down. LAUREN WINS, 18-0

The BB Cannons and LeScavengers join the logjam at 2nd Place in the Psychic Division following this match-up. Almost to the halfway point and the entire division is up for grabs. Brent gets a good win on the road here. BRENT WINS, 26-12

The Braggadocios correct course and get right back to losing, dropping this road game in overtime against the much-maligned Jaws-of-Life club. Jerry avoids the cellar and brings beer for the 2nd Place tie group. JERRY WINS, 19-18

The Cari Bous just might be legit. They destroy the Rock Lobsters, holding Rhino Mean to just 39 yards rushing on 23 carries. Finding no way to move the ball, not realizing passing plays were made legal in the 1938 season of the NPL, the Rock Lobsters set a team record with 29 punts. CARI WINS, 46-5

The Ballerinas and the Cannibals were not about that high-scoring business on Sunday. They decided to keep it nice and clean and punt on 4th down – every 4th down – even those in the red zone. It was thrilling. CHRIS WINS, 8-0

The Jennifer Jellyfish of Emily had no answers for the Sausages, dropping their second straight. The Sausages, on the other hand, extend their streak to four in a row in the road win, which is basically annoying as the returning Seer Cup champion. STEVEN WINS, 18-4

NPL Title Belt Match!

Like the good friends they are, the Juggernauts were not thrilled with DaVena stealing Corey’s hard-earned Title Belt. So they took the belt last week and gave it back to Corey this week. And because they’re such good friends, they didn’t bother being good on offense. COREY WINS, 37-0

Ethan Ebow completes a career best 48% of his passes for 173 yards, but could not get the Evil Entities into the endzone. The Killcows bullied the home team around in this one, claiming an easy victory. KEVIN WINS, 26-5

The Wrecking Balls and Martians rivalry is one of the better match-ups on the schedule and this one certainly lived up to the hype. Both teams decided to put in some extra work and take this to overtime, where the Martians could not stop the Wrecking Balls offense. RACHEL WINS, 47-26

The Androids continue to struggle, dropping their third straight to find themselves in a crowded Augur Division cellar with their opponent, Ethan, and Laci. The Zeros, however, may be starting to figure things out. They improve to 2-4 on the year, picking up their second win in a row. KELLY WINS, 36-14

The Labeorphiles had this one circled on the calendar. Like a shitty uncle that gets too drunk at Thanksgiving, they were really hoping to embarrass the Tichorrhines in their own home. But, Travis is in 1st place for a reason, picking up their 4th straight victory in PRIIIIME TIIIIME. TRAVIS WINS, 37-15