The Cari Bous Rise to the Top of the Psychic Division!

by Bernard Bagelbite

October 16, 2019


NPL Week Six – Results!

The Minotaurs finally get that win that has been eluding them, the Sausages and Tichorrhines compete for the longest win streak in the NPL, the Rock Lobsters get demolished, Joel returns the rental NPL Title Belt to Corey to avoid late fees, and Ethan gets fisted by the Killcows!

Berkenbile

vs

Josh

Rookie back-up QB, Joss Shua, continues to impress with JDIII out of the lineup, as the Javelineers offense emerges as one of the best units in the NPL. The Baboons are treating their 2-game skid like Fight Club, absolutely not talking about it. JOSH WINS, 37-24

CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Berkenbile64024
Josh73537

Jason

vs

Michael

The JeStErS are the top offense in the NPL, even after dropping this heartbreaking road loss to the Minotaurs. Michael finally gets a win in the new uniforms, moving to 1-4 since making the uniform switch in Week 2, but they’re still deadlocked for a last place tie with the Vapulaters. MICHAEL WINS, 19-18

Game decided by the Monday Madness Tiebreaker!
CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Jason55418
Michael55319

Ryan

vs

Vince

The Reremice need the overtime period to bounce back from their three game skid, and even then manage to only win by a last second field goal. But, they’re back on the right track, while the aforementioned Vapulaters are greeted by the Minotaurs in the cellar. RYAN WINS, 31-28

Game decided by the Monday Madness Tiebreaker!
CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Ryan64431
Vince64728

Lauren

vs

Adam

The Adam Bombs can’t handle their one match-up with the rival division, where the Prophet division’s Lychnobites shut out the A-Bombs on the road. Both teams find themselves at 3-3 after this one, but moving in opposite directions, like brothers with jetpacks but one put theirs on upside down. LAUREN WINS, 18-0

CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Lauren55218
Adam3770

Brent

vs

LeScoot

The BB Cannons and LeScavengers join the logjam at 2nd Place in the Psychic Division following this match-up. Almost to the halfway point and the entire division is up for grabs. Brent gets a good win on the road here. BRENT WINS, 26-12

CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Brent64226
LeScoot55112

Brandon

vs

Jerry

The Braggadocios correct course and get right back to losing, dropping this road game in overtime against the much-maligned Jaws-of-Life club. Jerry avoids the cellar and brings beer for the 2nd Place tie group. JERRY WINS, 19-18

Game decided by the Monday Madness Tiebreaker!
CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Brandon55418
Jerry55319

Ricky

vs

Cari

The Cari Bous just might be legit. They destroy the Rock Lobsters, holding Rhino Mean to just 39 yards rushing on 23 carries. Finding no way to move the ball, not realizing passing plays were made legal in the 1938 season of the NPL, the Rock Lobsters set a team record with 29 punts. CARI WINS, 46-5

CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Ricky4625
Cari822146

DaVena

vs

Chris

The Ballerinas and the Cannibals were not about that high-scoring business on Sunday. They decided to keep it nice and clean and punt on 4th down – every 4th down – even those in the red zone. It was thrilling. CHRIS WINS, 8-0

CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
DaVena3740
Chris4678

Steven

vs

Jennifer

The Jennifer Jellyfish of Emily had no answers for the Sausages, dropping their second straight. The Sausages, on the other hand, extend their streak to four in a row in the road win, which is basically annoying as the returning Seer Cup champion. STEVEN WINS, 18-4

CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Steven55218
Jennifer4694

Corey

vs

Joel

NPL Title Belt Match!

Like the good friends they are, the Juggernauts were not thrilled with DaVena stealing Corey’s hard-earned Title Belt. So they took the belt last week and gave it back to Corey this week. And because they’re such good friends, they didn’t bother being good on offense. COREY WINS, 37-0

CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Corey731237
Joel3750

Kevin

vs

Ethan

Ethan Ebow completes a career best 48% of his passes for 173 yards, but could not get the Evil Entities into the endzone. The Killcows bullied the home team around in this one, claiming an easy victory. KEVIN WINS, 26-5

CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Kevin64226
Ethan4615

Rachel

vs

Miranda

The Wrecking Balls and Martians rivalry is one of the better match-ups on the schedule and this one certainly lived up to the hype. Both teams decided to put in some extra work and take this to overtime, where the Martians could not stop the Wrecking Balls offense. RACHEL WINS, 47-26

Game decided by the Monday Madness Tiebreaker!
CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Rachel64247
Miranda642326

Kelly

vs

Andrew

The Androids continue to struggle, dropping their third straight to find themselves in a crowded Augur Division cellar with their opponent, Ethan, and Laci. The Zeros, however, may be starting to figure things out. They improve to 2-4 on the year, picking up their second win in a row. KELLY WINS, 36-14

CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Kelly731636
Andrew551914

Laci

vs

Travis

The Labeorphiles had this one circled on the calendar. Like a shitty uncle that gets too drunk at Thanksgiving, they were really hoping to embarrass the Tichorrhines in their own home. But, Travis is in 1st place for a reason, picking up their 4th straight victory in PRIIIIME TIIIIME. TRAVIS WINS, 37-15

CorrectIncorrectMM Off ByScore
Laci55215
Travis73937

Player of the Week

Cari Bous

Cari Bous

Correct: 8, Incorrect: 2, MM off by: 21

Solo Soothsayer

Lonesome Loser

Monday Magician

Are You Smarter Than ESPN?

Leave a Reply