The Labeorphiles Continue Their Domination!

The Baboons continue their hot start, officially harvesting a winning streak from the fields of play. The Juggernauts get no help from Joel Michael Jowell-Jollsberg who boasted that he could hit field goals with both legs tied together. He could not. BERKENBILE WINS, 18-4

The Minotaurs took advantage of the bonus period to hold of the Bongos in this one. The OT period saw little scoring, but did see a fan hospitalized after running on the field only to be pounced by the Minotaurs defense. MICHAEL WINS, 28-27

The Reremice found out how the Sausage was made in the overtime period and they did not enjoy it at all. Steven takes the Reremice through the meat grinder. STEVEN WINS, 17-8

The Sackbuts are playing like butts full of nutsacks and they drop another one, this a big loss to the Jellyfish. The real sting here was the Sackbuts getting their only points on Jennifer’s bad snaps that went out of the endzone. JENNIFER WINS, 20-4

The Micropolitans didn’t need much to claim the W in this one, getting all their points on three pretty standard field goals. But, that’s the high scoring, high octane offense the Micropolitans fans like to watch. MATT WINS, 9-0

The Coin Tossers flip another one for the W, kicking the tail out of the Abactors at home. Heads up, folks: the Coin Tossers are not pushovers like they were in the past! COIN WINS, 35-6

The Killcows blow out the Vapulaters on the road, improve to 3-0 on the year, and completely spoil All You Can Eat Chili Dog Night for the Vince fans. KEVIN WINS, 28-6

The Tichorrhines have questions at quarterback, mostly “Who is our quarterback? Like… do we have one on the roster?” They’ve relied entirely on the wildcat offense thus far this season. It’s been rough. BETTE WINS, 19-6

The Cutthroats hold off the home team Braggadocios in overtime, getting a late field goal thanks to a questionable roughing the passer call that put them into field goal range. It might seem like a choke slam through a folding table is illegal, but it’s actually allowed within the pocket. COREY WINS, 20-17

The Labeorphiles were far too much for the LeScavengers to pick apart, and have emerged as one of the better offenses in the NPL. Yes, it does feel weird to type that. LACI WINS, 46-12

The Adam Bombs took full advantage of the overtime period to pull away from the Androids, dropping 26 unanswered points in the bonus period. ADAM WINS, 32-15

The Wrecking Balls knock down the walls of the Jaws-of-Life, swinging through their stadium, holding the Jerry offense to just six points, and convincing fans that it’s time to jump ship from the J-o-L. I certainly don’t root for them. RACHEL WINS, 17-6

The BB Cannons wanted this one at home, mostly because no one wants to lose to Ethan in front of their home crowd. But, like the loudmouth leaving the theater, Ethan provided the spoiler. In OT, ETHAN WINS, 18-17

The Zeros weren’t held to zero, but it sure felt like that to their fans watching live and at home. Instead, the Rock Lobsters bullied Kelly to a 28-0 lead and only allowed points at the end of the game, when they fumbled the victory formation snap, which was returned for a touchdown after the clock hit zero. Counts, I guess. RICKY WINS, 28-6

NPL Title Belt Match!

The Martians walk into Cari’s stadium with the NPL Title Belt in their hands! Both teams played really well overall, but Cari won an extra seven points in the pre-overtime pie eating contest, and that proved to be the difference. CARI WINS, 34-27

It’s the clash of the brother franchises in PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIIME, as both teams try to find their first victory here in Week 3. The Javelineers fight to give head coach Josh Von Joshershire a taste of the success he had as a legendary quarterback. This was a back and forth affair, but the Cannibals couldn’t hold off the Javs attack late. JOSH WINS, 27-15