The Minotaurs Thrive in Priiiiiiime Tiiiiiiime!

The Javelineers are not an easy win, that’s for sure. The Adam Bombs needed a bonus period to put this one away.

ADAM WINS, 68-57

The Baboons did their best to shock the 3-0 Blue Tits, even battling into overtime before a late Bette touchdown put this one out of reach.

BETTE WINS, 46-39

The Reremice add to the LeScavengers woes, knocking the latter to 0-4 on the year by withstanding LeScoot’s best offensive performance of the season.

RYAN WINS, 45-32

The surprise Rock Lobsters improve to 3-1 on the year in a decisive victory over the visiting Micropolitans.

RICKY WINS, 37-14

Samuel showed up to an empty stadium with no lights on. Turns out, the Eras Tour was three towns over on the same day and the Bous all had tickets. Lucky.

SAMUEL WINS, 27-0

Yet another slice of humble pie served to the Erik Eruption in their inaugural NPL season, this time by the Jaws-of-Life.

JERRY WINS, 28-12

NPL Title Belt Match!

The BB Cannons handle the Vapulaters in a rather violent game that may as well have been a no-holds-barred cage match with all the blood, thrown chairs, and intro music. Brent holds on to the belt as they remain undefeated at 4-0.

BRENT WINS, 38-22

In the first edition of the Suck Bowl, the 0-3 Evil Entities visit the 1-2 Ballerinas, and it was evident by the praying, begging, pleading, and sideline ritual sacrifice, that Ethan just wanted this W more.

ETHAN WINS, 58-47

The Jellyfish upset the visiting Augur Division leaders en route to their second straight win, giving Rachel their first tick in the loss column.

JENNIFER WINS, 45-32

Kelly played a hell of a game, but it was the Killcows that emerge on top after an explosive back end. That’s not a diarrhea joke, that just means they had a good second half.

KEVIN WINS, 46-30

Axell’s surprise #1 NPL offense wasn’t so hot this week, even surrendering two safeties, but their defense more than made up for it by holding the Martians offense to nil.

AXELL WINS, 17-4

Corey goes on the road to get their first win of the season, putting on an offensive showcase for the home team Cannibals crowd.

COREY WINS, 45-24

The Sausages emerge from a tight pack to take an early lead atop the Oracle Division at 3-1 after this impressive win over Laci.

STEVEN WINS, 38-22

If you had “The Androids will be one of the last four undefeated teams” on your 2023 NPL Bingo Card, then you’re a better person than me. They put on a show here at home to withstand the Bongos’ high scoring offense.

ANDREW WINS, 44-33

Joel moves to an even 2-2 on the season with a blowout win over the home Tichorrhines, who only get just three points from their struggling offense.

JOEL WINS, 29-5

It started as a slugfest with both teams trading three touchdowns and a field goal, before Michael completely shut down the Braggadocios. The Minotaurs put on the best offensive show of the week in the PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIIME spotlight, putting the rest of the Prophet Division on notice.

MICHAEL WINS, 53-24