The Zeros defense gifts a zero to the Bous!
NPL Week 5 – Results!
The Jellyfish take the NPL Title Belt to Samuel’s neck of the woods! The Tichorrhines host the Cannibals in Suck Fest 2026! The Evil Entities battle the Jaws-of-Life in Priiiiiiime Tiiiiiiime! It’s the NPL, Week Five!
The 49ers narrowly top the Seahawks, despite the boys in blue gifting them three touchdowns on just 29 yards of offense. They claim the win with a humble 78.57% Underdog Rating on the road, the lowest UR of the season so far.
ESPN Experts vs The NPL
The ESPN experts were better than the NPL players this week. The ESPN experts lead the series 49-46-52.
Brandon vs Berkenbile
The Baboons offense outshines the decently luminescent Braggadocios squad to snag the win here.
BERKENBILE WINS, 53-24
Adam vs Josh
The Javelineers bounce back and hold off the visiting Adam Bombs with an offensive performance that inspires optimism for the sub-500 Javs.
JOSH WINS, 28-12
Ryan vs LeScoot
The visiting Reremice have little difficulty with the LeScavengers, delivering a high scoring performance and a fresh goose egg for their opponents.
RYAN WINS, 36-0
Michael vs Bette
The Minotaurs were gifted a W from the Blue Tits here, but still nearly managed to give this one away.
MICHAEL WINS, 24-11
Kevin vs Matt
The Micropolitans beat up on the visiting Killcows, dominating the trenches with five tush-push touchdowns in the blowout win.
MATT WINS, 35-5
Axell vs Erik
The Erik Eruption smack the struggling Axell Abactors around for 60 minutes to claim the easy W.
ERIK WINS, 29-6
Jennifer vs Samuel
NPL Title Belt Match!The Jennifer Jellyfish were stunned by an early three score lead by the Samuel Sackbuts, but they pull a clutch reversal and storm back to retain the NPL Title Belt!
JENNIFER WINS, 37-21
DaVena vs Vince
The Ballerinas escape an impressive Vapulaters offensive showing with one of the more impressive performances of the week.
DaVENA WINS, 45-32
Laci vs Brian
The Bongos trade blows with the Laci Labeorphiles before pulling away in the 4th quarter for the home victory.
BRIAN WINS, 36-24
Corey vs Joel
The Joel Juggernauts get eight field goals from Joel Michael Jowell-Jollsberg, thanks to the offense finally doing their share of scoring in this blowout victory.
JOEL WINS, 46-6
Steven vs Andrew
The visiting Steven Sausages get a terabyte of trouble from the host Andrew Androids, but manage to pull away in the second half.
STEVEN WINS, 37-21
Chris vs Travis
It was considered a toss-up when the 1-3 Chris Cannibals visited the 1-3 Travis Tichorrhines, but the Travis squad had little difficulty getting the W.
TRAVIS WINS, 26-5
Rachel vs Brent
The Rachel Wrecking Balls and Brent BB Cannons collided for a high scoring battle, with the BB Cannons ultimately sealing it late in the fourth quarter.
BRENT WINS, 37-23
Kelly vs Cari
The Kelly Zeros absolutely shred the home team Cari Bous, pairing a high scoring offensive explosion with an unrelenting defensive blockade.
KELLY WINS, 47-0
Miranda vs Ricky
The Miranda Martians snag their second straight victory, humbling the Ricky Rock Lobsters just one week after their best performance of the season.
MIRANDA WINS, 27-13
Ethan vs Jerry
The Ethan Evil Entities and Jerry Jaws-of-Life were both eagerly anticipating this PRIIIIIIIME TIIIIIIIME showdown. The Evil Entities struck first on a 42-yard screen pass TD, but didn’t find the end zone again until garbage time with the Jaws-of-Life dominating everything in between.
JERRY WINS, 37-15
Jason’s Player of the Week
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