The NPL

Rest in Peace, Jason

by The Commish

January 12, 2022

On Sunday, the NPL lost a close friend. Jason Danch, the operator of the Jason JeStErS NPL franchise had his life cut suddenly short in an unfortunate and heartbreaking motorcycle accident.

The Samuel Sackbuts Play to Perfection In Their First Playoff Game!

by Chester Curlybush

December 30, 2021

2021 NPL Playoffs – Wild Card Round

It’s the Wild Card Round, where the worst record in the Clairvoyant Conference faces the best record in the Clairvoyant Conference, but the team that’s the home team just might surprise you! Clickbait! It’s the NPL Playoffs, 2021!

NPL Awards – 2021

by Eleanor Crosby

December 15, 2021

And just like that, the 2021 regular season is in the books. It seemed like just yesterday the Commish was asking people if they still wanted to play. No, I’m not talking about the annual ‘Are you in?’ text. I’m talking about the two different weeks where the NPL set and then tied the record for the most no-shows (with nine!). Squid Game had more willing participants! [pause for laughter]

Not scheduled to make an appearance at tonight’s award ceremony are the Josh Javelineers. They finished with their worst record and accuracy since 2008 and missed out on all the awards, the postseason, and happiness. Cari and Laci make their annual appearances in the Lonesome Losers and Lowest Pick Accuracy categories. Just which category they claim is entirely up to them, it seems. And our lone rookie, Samuel, went against all odds to win Rookie of the Year, but we considered giving it to Miranda, since her three wins were certainly rookie-esque. [even longer pause for laughter]

Today, we are here to announce the lucky winners of the 2021 NPL Awards! A huge congratulations to all the finalists, you have definitely set a very admiring benchmark for all these other losers to imitate. Let’s get to it!

And Just Like That, It Was Gone!

by Skip Brainless

NPL Week 14 – Results!

The NPL regular season wraps up with the conclusion of week 14, but for twelve of you fuckers, you’re going on to the playoffs so you’re not done with me yet! For everyone else, thanks for playing again and I’ll talk to you next August unless you want to be friends in real life. Anyone? No one? Alright, well fuck you then. IT’S THE NPL – WEEK 14!

The Rachel Wrecking Balls Claim Their Third Division Championship in Five Years!

by Stephen A. Smiff

December 9, 2021

NPL Week 13 – Results!

The Wrecking Balls join the Blue Tits as the only outright Division Champions in the NPL, meaning there are six divisions still up for grabs! Holy crap! The Baboons keep themselves alive with a clutch win over the Javs! The Tichorrhines activate Hard Mode by losing in Week 13! The Juggernauts and Bongos decide to wait until next week to see who gets the Oracle Division banner! The Miranda Martians are just happy to be included! It’s the NPL, Week 13!