The Ethan Evil Entities are the new NPL Champions!
The Seer Cup, a 136 year old tradition that started on the coast of Norway in a small fishing village, was originally an elaborate dodge-ball game with teams of fifty facing off in the public square. The game evolved into modern day football, but the trophy – a large silver goblet filled with fish and gravy – remains to this day. 135 times the Seer Cup has switched hands. 135 times hearts have been broken.
As tradition dictates, the 136th Seer Cup is once again played in the small, coastal city rich in Norwegian heritage: Stubbtown, WA. The majestic Stubb Field holds 120,000 excited fans of all ages, as the brutal powerhouse Ryan Reremice play host to the little-celebrated Ethan Evil Entities, both making their second trip to the big game. ETHAN! RYAN! THE SEER CUP! NFL PICKS LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP!
The Seer Cup – Stubb Field in Stubbtown, WA
Weather: 51 degrees, cloudy
Kickoff: 2:05 pm, Sunday February 12th, 2017
Girl Power
It was a record setting year for the ladies of the NPL. While the women have been well represented in the NPL, this year showcases the true Girl Power of the NPL, with three Division Champions, two Wild Cards, and a Player of the Year!
Looking back, we have to go back to the inaugural season of the NPL in 2007 to see our first victory for NPL womankind: Erin wins the first ever Seer Cup, in a not-surprising defeat of Ricky. The ladies would go on to win conference championships in each of the first five seasons, taking home two Seer Cups along the way (Erin, Piper).
Are We Smarter Than ESPN?
It’s an age-old tradition in the NPL to poke fun at the ‘experts’ at ESPN and their echochamber of opinions when it comes to predicting success in football. Here, we have 28 people that make predicitions based on feelings, statistics, coin flips, whether or not one team would win in an all out brawl over the other team, etc. And consistently, the NPL has held their own.
We took a simple ‘majority rules’ approach to the picks: If more people chose Team A than Team B, then the NPL (or ESPN) pick would be Team A. With that in mind, let’s take a look at how we did in 2016.
Cari Bous Players Walk Out
Cari Bous players walked out on the coaches on Tuesday morning, in protest of the “awful play calling and lack of preparation” in regards to Monday night’s NPL Game of the Week against the Evil Entities. The Entities, despite being one of the worst offenses in the NPL, still managed to cruise by the heavily favored Cari Bous 19-0.
“What can we do? We can only go out there and run double reverses so many times before the defense catches on and starts putting our guys in the hospital,” said All-Pro TE Kyle Cornswallow. “I mean, our coaches got us this far, sure. But at what point does the gameplan get called into question?”
Kev Kthulu to Miss At Least 3 Weeks
Following a horrendous play execution that saw Kevin Killcows QB Kev Kthulu throw the ball backwards out of his own endzone on the weirdest screen pass ever attempted, the Killcows sent in replacement QB Kevindarrio Krunch, a rookie out of Mountain Lake Forest State Technical Institute while Kthulu was examined on the Killcows sideline.